Your gentle smile lights up my world
like sana-flowers in bloom
I wish to simply hold your hand
And take you to the moon.

Your sweet voice through my handheld phone
Sends shivers down my spine
If only we could run away
And make our lives divine.

I wish to hear your voice divine
and feel your blazing skin
and maybe steal a kiss or two
before I weep for sin.

the distance has my heart aloof
I know not what to do
so I'll wrap myself tight in this bed
and dream of missing you.

Pain
  Pain
Pain
  Pain
Pain.
Pain,
Pain
Pain
(Pain)
  Pain--
Pain
        Pain

Pain
    Pain
Pain pain painpainpain
  Pain pain pain
Pain pain
   Pain.
Pain with pain
  Pine and pain
    And sick
Pain-Ill death-clock
Tick tick ticks
   Nothing to say
    Anymore
Pain pain. Pain
  Pain with feathers
      How pain and why pain
  And will be and never was pain
   Pain in your shoes,
In a shower
  On a floor
Pain
  In a garden
Pain
   With your tea
Pain in your eye
As you drive
   Along
We must be terrible
  We must be heinous
Viscous, meticulous,
   We are not.
But pain pain pain
   I.  Can not sleep
As they sanction drone
Strikes on children
   I. can not sleep
     As a
Ghostly ether summons
Across lakes in dream
   I. Can't think
      I. can feel like a Cyprus
Upon a grave
  Love love love
Love love love love
Love love love love
   Death exists
Life is in brief moments
    Where the dead
Drag in front of you
Bleeding, broken
Forever lost in this abyss
  Grafted from a tree
In another world
Oh, my love.
   Oh my love,
As I know it true
  In bent knees at dawn
Whispers evermore in my ear
   Beyond graves and atom bombs
     Test pilots
Test tubes
   Test
Pain in your chest
  In your mouth
Rotted flesh
Rotted fits of aging
  Agony which
Is pain, exquisite
Like a needle
Precise like
  A
Nuclear accident
  I. Can't sleep
As things fly above my head
   My eye
Leaving me in the dark
Leaving me in a tub
Leaving me in a gas task
    Mustard gas and Venus
Drowned in calm water
  Out, out, out,
Number 1.
  Nitrous oxide
Psalms, palms,
  Save little girls
  In dresses know
   As I walk by a snowglobe  
    Oh, my love
  How
I am sick of questions with an
Answer I know
But not quite
Not, quite
   And death will solve
All power
  Like forks
In an outlet
   u r a beautiful dawn
At sunset
  My eyes are tired
   It needs to heal
It needs to heal
   D. E. A. (D)  
In a straw or dollar
O.K.
oh, Kay
   Oh, Natalie
I dot the "I" in your
  Name in my brain
In my bones leaving me
Aloft in dream,
   I dream and weep
I dream and weep
  Pain
Pain
  Pai. N.
Kiev
Leaving
  Pain
Pain. Pain. no. 1

"It's back again", she says,
"the monster in my head."

He was tiny at first, quite a cute little thing;
Hours of entertainment, an emotional swing.
An experience of a sort
One of a kind
But before I knew it,
I was losing my mind.

He grew little by little
Week by week
Grew some feathers and some claws,
Even some talons, and a beak.
He put my hands on my skull, and spun me around
But it hit me when I realised
This wasn't a merry go round.

This
Was
Life

Quite real, quite profound
I tried to leave
But he chased me like a hound.

It had become the norm, to reside in my bed
Quiet and alone
Inside of my head.

I didnt need a soul
I was ever so flighty
My social isolation
Expanded un-mildly.

And now here I lie awake
But hardly even conscious
That this little pet of mine
Is a little obnoxious.

But I'll put my shoes on
And try hard to function
After all, its just another day
In my Sana-verse mansion.

the screen empty lids behind my fatigued seeing eyes
sore from the blue fluorescence, trying to fill a void
desire to push myself to be functionally aware about my mortal coil
my sweet grief-stricken circumstance that is life
movement is opioid for the limp limbs of existence, trying oh so hard
here I lay
empty as an cracked eggshell
thrown in a filthy metal drum
where is my purposefulness
my proper shot at this path
the lead heavy laden head of my spiral
ties me down to the faux softness
begging for some warmth

I kept at your name like a prayer
My tongue tracing the syllables
As if tasting wine for the first time,
Clear and sharp;
And yet possessing the familiarity
Of dadima's rosary.