Francis

Francis Sep 2016

Insomnia

Insomnia,
Insomnia,
I wish that you would die.
Why is it that you ****** me?
You laugh as you make me cry.

Feelings that help conspire,
My heart to skip a beat.
The pressure of my blood rises higher,
To cure my sadness I continue to eat.

A monster grows inside of me,
His name I do not know.
All of this peculiar controversy,
Conspiracies begin to grow.

Not knowing who or what I am,
I start to lose my head.
While my head forms
it's acidic jam,
It soaks up into my bed.

Deadly forces fight inside,
My brain stops it's function.
Unconventional disfunctions collide,
Like a sentence without conjunction.

Distancing myself from society,
I'll sleep forever lonely.
Friends are like your enemies,
So late to realize they're phony.

Love has been lost,
Some time ago.
I wish I had a companion.
Misery,
Inside of me.
A woman's touch will make,
This loneliness inside of me go.

Questioning the nature of humanity,
I feel I'm betraying the lord.
Constant coexisting insanity,
Starts when one becomes bored.

Boarding up these windows,
The storm rolls in above.
As peers become your hated foes,
Hate transformed from love.

Waking up this very day,
I notice a familiar sensation,
Every dawn is like today,
With no spontaneous creation.

Night comes about,
I fail to sleep,
Instead I start to shout.
Counting sheep,
Is useless,
As my heart fails to grout.

Insomnia,
Insomnia,
Why won't you let me be?
Too many things exhaust my mind.
I'd like to go to sleep.

#drama

Francis Sep 2016

Addiction

A primary source of pain is the truth,
though the truth shall set you free.
An addiction beyond recognition,
there is something dark deep inside me.

Inanimate white evil,
has stolen he who is I.
My soul needs cleansing,
Am I close to where I die?

With knowledge comes wisdom,
and wisdom is beneficial.
But knowledge of this darkness,
The last thing I am is superficial.

Reality is no longer near,
As my sinuses fail to clear.
The darkness was formed by choice,
And to die is what I fear.

As the lights rapidly flicker,
While my mind starts to shut down.
Like a married couple who bickers,
There is no peace,
In my own blood I will drown.

The light calmly dims,
The rhythm of the monitor straightens,
And a continuous beeping noise trims,
The sound of silence in the room.

In the name of the father, the son and the holy ghost,
Whoever snorted the fastest got the most.
But was it an escape from reality?
Or reality escaping from me,
I am now forever gone,
But the darkness will linger over my family.

Not my favorite but...

#drama

Francis Sep 2016

Fade Out:

Fixated on the idea of stillness,
While my existence ceases to stand still.
Four past a dozen years of sanity,
but insanity becomes my will.
Is it faith that lyes within?
Or is it time to turn out the light?

Impervious to fulfillment,
Emulating a personality I could only dream of.
The mask became too tight,
and the match eventually burnt out.

Uncontrollable perturbation seemed,
Like a pit that had no bottom.
With emotional *******,
letting it escape was difficult.

Fear of judgement,
that comes from the outsider's force.
Smiling at the frowns inside,
denial took its course.
With a heart of gold,
and pride the size of the earth.
This name of mine should live on,
but had already been a memory at birth.

The final sleep could be near,
but the awakening could be so.
It could very well interfere.
Yet it is very well doubtful,
Through my eyes though.

Ashamed of what might come,
if my emotions pilot my soul.
This aircraft is running out of fuel,
and my fear to move on has dilated.

These roots are growing rapidly,
like a **** in the season of the sun.
My emotions are exploding,
Like a bullet escaping a gun.

God forgive this sinner,
Who sins for the worthy of life,
These words are cutting deep,
Deep through me like a knife.
A child at heart,
With a wise tale to tell.
My world is spinning rapidly,
My head is clanging like a bell.

A moral man in a corrupt world,
I portray a shakespearian player.
Soliloquies in character,
But this character is myself,
Myself is he,
The player.

In the final fall of the curtain,
I soon am ready to bow,
The crowed is loudly silent,
it is time to say goodbye now.

#life #death #drama #needs

Francis Sep 2016

To Die in My Own Arms

To die in my own arms.
To experience rapture in my world
encompasses a field of hindrance.
Undoubtably failing,
to seek those who comfort me in a world of nonfulfillment.
A confined receptacle of positive emotions
struggling to be kept shut tight,
as I meander the streets of the bold and proper.

Unconventional workings of the mind projected by waves of sound ******,
causes discomfort to those who have listened in company of me.
Notability has been afar,
since I had last possessed it so greatly.
I am now the last of what to be known,
as the person I once was to be.

Lust awaits behind a door,
a door that has weakened with seniority.
Love appears to be concealed in fear.
Rejection is relative to love's own emotion.
Lust is what terminates the opportunity of love,
when oral phrasing is miscalculated from it's true meaning.

Never have I been so doltish,
and scatterbrained I seem to be.
Alone I am It seems to me.
Will solitude become my everlasting acquaintance?
It's been surely devoted for quite some time,
although I'd prefer to meet it's demise.

Nevermore I seek to idolize,
such a classification that rebuffs me.
I'll keep to me and one day I shall see,
It is but only me,
who has been faithful to fidelity.
Failure to remain in solidarity any longer,
with thoughts I blindly accept.

Denial will get myself nowhere,
but a premature casket that aimed to be fulfilled by an obsolete version of me.
I have yet to find such love again.
Nostalgia appears to be such a unique function of the memory.

Yet nostalgia for me,
causes misery when reminding me of what I once had, and will forever fail to achieve again.
Two malignant relatives haunt me as I attempt to dream of peace and tranquility.
Malicious enemies such as depression and loneliness will forever cease my ability to dream.

Opposing the peacefulness they provide the nightmare.
But no nightmare is as gruesome or horrific as the constant reminder that,
I am alone,
And I will now know what it's like,
To Die in My Own Arms.

#sad #drama #loneliness

— The End —