Life
Death
Inbetween
These three things are what hold me

Life
Happiness
Love
Family
Friends
Life isn't just about living for yourself it's about living for others,
Life isn't just about waking up and and breathing it's about loving and caring.

Death
Sadness
Pain
Sorrow
Death isn't just about letting your final breath go its about letting everything go the love the happiness the life,
Death isn't just about pain and sadness it's a sweet oblivion and sweet place to go after all the pain and sadness.

The Inbetween
Is where I'm stuck
Stuck living for others my soul and heart is dead they have let go but I can't stop caring for the ones I care about they are two people who helped me through but soon I will let go for good and go to my sweet oblivion.

Life death Inbetween
All three are different
All three are painful
But I will stay through the pain for two people once they are safe and happy I will gladly take deaths hand an let him lead me to me sweet oblivion.

i sit here at night shaking cold lifeless,
the nightmares woke me again,
nothing left for me to do but endure the panic endure the pain,
nothing left but to face the fact that i will never be rid of these painful encounters.

i sit here tears rolling down my cheeks,
tears of sadness of pain of sorrow,
there is nothing i can do to stop them no dam no structure will keep them at bay,
these tears hold my pain each drop is like acid agasint my heart and soul,
each drop makes me fall further down the whole despair.

every night i sit here hoping that the shakes won't come but they always do hoping that the nightmares wont arrive but they always do,
each night i get lost and each morning i wake not knowing where i am or what my purpose is.

i am lost.
i am falling.
i have become a ghost.

I'm just so angry
I'm paying for her mistakes.
I feel like punching the wall.
I want to hear my knuckles crack from the impact.
I want to scream till I can't scream anymore.
I want to scream till my voice box bursts.
I want to kick.
I want to slap.
I want to pinch.
I don't want to be angry.

Can you hear my silent screams?
Can you see the pain in my eyes?
Can you see the way my shoulders slump forward?
Do you see the invisible tears?
Do you feel the waves of my anger?
Do you love me for who I am?
Can you love me for who I am?
For what I've become?
For what I will be?
Can you see past my flaws?
Do you know I'm broken?
Can you fix me?


YOU CAN'T


*you won't

I'll never use this... Why does it matter if I know it, if I do we'll in this class.
I don't like numbers. I am an artist. I like colors.
I can speak and I can write.
And I can draw the things that hide in people's nightmares.
I have no use for the history of the world.
Because I am one of the many that will make new history.

I don't care if I fail in this part of my life.
Because I will succeed in another.
And no one will stop me.

On the outside,
I smile may be frozen.
On the inside,
I'm crumbling.
Like pastry.
No way to fix me.
It feels like all the weights are being thrown on my shoulders.
There's only so much weight my shoulders can carry.

For I did not come here in hopes of a hello

Of a simple stroll down our village

Or an acknowledgement of my existence

I came here because I care

I care

I see in your eyes the difference

Cover up with words soothing to the ear

But actions onset on hindrance

I did not come for a duet

Or a memory that we’d never regret

A heart to heart throughout the night

I did not come for my own benefit

I come because I care

I care
I worry, in fact

That you do not realize

How much you are
Who you are

Or your worth


Because the things you do show otherwise
But see in my eyes, and the eyes of others

Too concerned while we watch the beautiful eagle continue to believe he’s just a worm

You’re too distraught by the blindfold in front of yours

To realize the cries for help

Drowned out with insanity

Because the world is stealing your flame

While you continue to be baffled by the pickpocket’s show

"Do not take it!" I scream

“Do not let it take you!”
but those eyes

So precious, full and alive

are 

still

blindfolded.

The procession goes on while the main attraction continues to burp out synthetic love and false hopes

Temporary 
enjoyment

And you have become the fool of the show

With that blindfold 

Darned, pestering blindfold.

I will still scream for its demise!

I will still plead for the final scene!

I will rip away the curtains held up with burgundy lies!

I will still care.

The show must eventually stop!

For actors must be given a break and plays must be forgotten

To not be cliche

There will be a time when there are no more encores

An end to the grand show

scattered flowers on the first row

And utter silence in an empty space

A dangerously

Dark

Desolate 

Stage

But I will still be there


Holding a match for a new flame




And a warmer smile

For I care

I truly care

Isn't it ironic
how i said
that i would
never
drag a blade
across my skin
because of
my fear of blood
Isn't it ironic
how people
didn't realize
that was my
perfect excuse
to do so
Isn't it ironic
how the things
we do to
feel alive,
are the things
that can **** us