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Ryan O'Leary Jul 2018
D rop
O ff
P oint
P izza's
I n
O ctober
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2024
The Drover

To Meath of the pastures
From wet hills by the sea
Through Leitrim and Longford
Go my cattle and me

Padraigh Colum

—————————————

The Vegan

From the river
To the sea
Salmon will
Be free

Ryan O'Leary

——————————————-

The Prophecy

From the river
To the sea
Palestine
Will be free.


Fadwa Tuqan
Ryan O'Leary Jun 2019
^    ^    ^
-     -     -
||  ||  ||

We have three chimney
pots, all redundant since
installing gas heating.

What if, I cut 3 wooden
discs, suspend inside and
fit the outlets with tin hats.

That way, next Spring, we
could share our house with
the Crows and their chicks!


Ps

Accompanied with diagram.
Ryan O'Leary Oct 2024
When foreskins are severed
  noses pick up the slack.

  That is what Webster’s
etymology calls a *******.

Which, as you can see, aptly
    describes Netenyahu.
Ryan O'Leary May 2019
They are not concerned
as to whether it is a boy
or a child, surely, all that
matters is what *******
colour it is, because if it
be black, then Brexit don't
mean for ****, because in
just a few generations from
now, Britain will be goosed.
-4*
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2
-4*
Scent
Degrade

Cold feet
Pixie hat
Freeze bite
Van life
Ice scraper
Cold as a
Dogs nose
And stiff
With the
Rheumatism
Of nights
Inactivity
Beneath
This frosted
Stratosphere
A liquid silence
Ryan O'Leary Mar 2019
St Patrick was a Vegan, he ate
Shamrock 3 times a day which
is how it differed from clover,
one leaf less, the latter for cows
who, incidentally back then in
Hibernia, were herbivores also.
Ireland was the first country in
the world to go green circa 432
AD according to Leprechaun
manuscripts recently discovered
under a stone in County Cork.
432
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2019
432
432 was the amount
of a crushing defeat
for 202 Toe Rags.

432 is a symbolic figure
for Ireland and not a
poetic metaphor either,
it was the date St Patrick
arrived here from Boulogne
Sur Mer in Northern France,
where it was a tradition of the
local mariners to paint a shamrock
on their fishing boats.

432 has often been associated with
the 4 provinces and 32 counties.

John B. Keane's "Field" was 3 Acres
1 Rood and 32 Perches, a classic
representation of Ireland.

202, or TOT will become iconic also,
not as a number, more the word!

               <>

TOT  |tɒt|
verb (tots, totting, totted) [ no obj. ] (usu. as nountotting) Brit. informal
salvage saleable items from dustbins or ******* heaps. local authorities frown on totting.
Ryan O'Leary Oct 2024
I think that night thoughts
are not as dependable as
those of the day.

Am I correct?

I ask, because most nights
I want to suicide, but after A.M.
and coffee, that feeling is gone.

Wilde said, I am an atheist
by day and a Catholic at night.

Yin is the dark side
Yang is the bright

The latter being day
The former is night


In French the moon is La Lune = Feminine*
But the the sun is Le Soleil = Masculine

What do The Samaritans have to say
about my initial question?

Any why do I have this wish to terminate
my life at night only?

Does this mean that all of nights thoughts
should be ignored?


Ps.

When I get the response, I will publish here

time now 19:12 pm Friday October 18th

I am in UK but sent question to Ireland as I

am Irish and I tend to confuse the English.
Ryan O'Leary Jul 2020
Season 2 of  4  x  4  at The
Whitehouse is currently
being filmed, to be screened
in November 2020 on every
channel. All the same actors
similar settings, new props.

In the opening scene Donny
T promises a Rose Garden to
all American's even Hillary.
Biden gets pruned and the
Democratic party de thorned
perfume fills the air, pink peace.
Ryan O'Leary Feb 2020
Foursome
Foreplay
*******
Forearm.
500
Ryan O'Leary Mar 2020
500
O ye of little Fiat
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2018
)

       I dont know about you,
     but here in The Luberon,
     we have exactly one half
                of the moon.

                       (

   Perfect harmony and what
could be more philadelphian
than sharing the other portion
  with who ever it is that has it ?
Ryan O'Leary Jun 2018
)

       I dont know about you,
     but here in The Luberon,
     we have exactly one half
                of the moon.

                       (

   Perfect harmony and what
could be more philadelphian
than sharing the other portion
  with who ever it is that has it ?

                      ((

     When the two halves are
        together, side by side
      your eclipse never blots
           my imagination.
51
Ryan O'Leary Jun 2020
51
Hawaii was the last
state to join the union
bringing the total to
50. Police makes it 51.
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2024
Ryan O'Leary
163 followers / 127.9k words
Poems
5623 published / 938 drafts / 2 hidden
Collections
0 published / 1 private
Favorites
0 poems / 4 members
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2020
From the I.H.S.
   seventeen silly bills came
      through my letterbox



IHS = Irish Haiku Society.
5 G
Ryan O'Leary Apr 2020
5 G
Gauss |gaʊs| (abbrev.: G)
noun (pl.same or gausses)
a unit of magnetic induction, equal to one ten-thousandth of a tesla.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: named after Karl Gauss (see Gauss, Karl Friedrich) .
Gauss, Karl Friedrich |gaʊs|
(1777–1855), German mathematician, astronomer, and physicist. Gauss laid the foundations of number theory, and applied rigorous mathematical analysis to geometry, geodesy, electrostatics, and electromagnetism.
Ryan O'Leary May 2020
Within the confines of our lockdown
periferique there is plenty nature as
it is all farmland after about 2 minutes
from home.

First it is Wallace's a small holding with
dry cattle. Then Twomey's where Prinz
the dog lives with a large herd of Freisan's
after that is Silly O'Shea's.

Silly is nearing 90, still drives the tractor
has a bad hip. As I was passing his yard
I saw him with his elbow on the roof of
the car door ajar and he ******* out past
the gap between the two hinges. It was
fair going for his age and condition.

On I walked, past Jim Kiely's place where
Aesop the neglected donkey was, no sign
of Jim, his wife ran away with Curtis
Akerton, the locals likened that to a hen
moving in with a fox.

Down past the Akerton farmyard, before
it to be exact, I heard a conversation between
2 people inside the hedgerow. I stopped
and peered, it was Curtis with his
trousers down, the phone on loudspeaker.

Coming back the way I heard noise
coming from Jim Kiely's sheep shed
all I could figure it out was baa baa baa!

I wondered was Curtis on the phone still.
Ryan O'Leary Feb 2023
Italian campers all got a toilette

Which the English have christened cassette

Holds German shizer a week

Even if he eats Greek

But the French say he’ll need a bidette.
Ryan O'Leary Dec 2020
.                         H


There is a goalpost in the English
    alphabet which has historically
posed a great challenge to the Irish.

Try as they will, but they can never
actually succeed in the conversion,
  even from the turty tree yard line.
Ryan O'Leary Feb 2024
Bop haiku poems rhyme

              ballad sonnet epics mime

odes slam universe
Ryan O'Leary Feb 2022
Without fail I find

               inspiration for a poem

after a short Haik
666
Ryan O'Leary Jul 2019
666
Satan is coming, global
warming is here, a heat
wave in Ireland, there is
nothing to fear.

Soon we'll have grapes,
no more Guinness but wine,
The French will be furious,
no doubt they will whine.

Our umbrellas recycled, no
more rain but sunshine,
Parasols for the Paddy's,
by Al Fresco, we'll dine.

To hell with our God,
never did us no good,
the Pope came to see us,
no one kneeled, they all stood.

Make friends with the Devil,
he's a much better craic,
all the ****** went to Heaven,
but they left, and came back.

Lucifer is a woman,
she's as hot as an ember,
anyone who ****** her,
will always remember.

Forget about Jesus,
what a looser he was,
with a thief either side of him,
don't know, why just because.

666 is the number,
say it aloud,
it will not take long,
and you'll be in a crowd.
Ryan O'Leary Oct 2020
I'm vegetarian so
I don't eat Kebab

Yes I am Muslim
I can't wear Hijab

Why am I sitting
here in a Lab ?

I don't have Covid      
but I must have a jab /
                                    ˚

Ps.

Different vaccines for
each culture. BLM will
be getting the reproductive
harming serum version.

Arabs, will be culled.
70s
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2020
70s
I was a teenager back then,
recalling now, looking through
Ardley's window at acoustic
guitars and their optical seduction.

A voice from a passing observer
remarked that those things are
not for you son, only people with
straight long hair can play them.

I re focussed my eyes away from
the wood waisted elegance to the
glass reflection at my unmanageable
mop of curly celtic Irish hair.

My impressionable youth had been
influenced by a faceless comment
and now nearing yet another 70s I
regret remembering Woodstock.
Ryan O'Leary Oct 2024
When Mrs Richter faked an
       ((((((((******))))))))
Charles quaked in his boots
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2019
Yesterday I spilt the beans,
100% Colombia Arabica.

Daisy, the Border Collie
from Westport in Mayo,

Was on to the # Browny's
in a flash, just as Kaldi's

Goats were, in Ethiopia
circa 850 A.D.

The 250 grams of beans
were no different to a herd

Of sheep scattered on the
hill of Croagh Patrick.

I was the poor shepherd
while Daisy, true to her

Evolutionary inheritance
went after the fleeing flock,

Though not to help put them back
in the bag, she began to eat them!

A night from hell ensued, wooden
floors, long nails, pacing, pacing.

Daisy had her first high, but
today, she is in a sheep dip.
Daisy is the dog we are minding
in Westport Mayo for owners gone
on 2 weeks holiday. We work for
trustedhousesitters.com but please,
keep this to yourselves.
Ryan O'Leary Dec 2019
My V8 Haiku
         is backfiring
therefore missing
         one cylinder
Ryan O'Leary Dec 2019
Hikiwake haiku
  equal syllable
  mean 8 a side  
  ha       -       ha.
911
Ryan O'Leary Sep 2018
911
Nothing to do with
Al Qaeda, it's Porsche!
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2020
THOU SHALT NOT COVID
THY NEIGHBOURS WIFE.


p.s.

Wear a mask.
AA
Ryan O'Leary May 2019
AA
Although I am a golf driver,
with a tête de bois, I am also
a tee-totaler, since I had my
last round, back in 2000, now,
I have become an Arabica Addict.
Ryan O'Leary Jun 2018
Alcoholism is excess,

      Anorexia is the antonym.
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2019
Dr. Bob never drinks,              
   but Bill will soon.
Ryan O'Leary Jul 2018
It's in The Oblats
mainly ex-pats

Friends of S.A.M.
and foes of NAM.

A privileged lot
never met a sot

Can't do teach
so out of reach.

Are you sanitized
and breathalyzed

Get out of here
we are full of fear.

And so for John
who since has gone

This tale will leak
to protect the weak.
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2018
Camus said that there can
be " no creativity without
secrecy " but the AA wants
everyone to share?
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2020
A rare sighting by day
to boot, of a known
nocturnal in Hyde Park
wearing a Corona, tongue
out gasping for air with
convulsions and eyes
rolling in the head
incontinent frothing from
the mouth.

A passer by said it was a
Guinea Pig from Africa.

Not quite, another replied,
but it was used to test the
Oxford Astra Zeneca    /
                                        ˚
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2022
.                  Doing
           Geographical’s


My biggest fear is homelessness,

yet, I have sold 20 houses in 40

years, what’s wrong with me and

now at age 72, I am in a camper.


I have tempted fate & destination.

Choice has caused my downfall

& running away from demons in

the head, but they always follow.


Well, they did in the past pursue

me, but now at least they won’t

need to take the usual 6 months

to find me, the van was their idea.






Ryan 27/11/2022

Normandy
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2019
En France, a cause de
leur system métrique , a
Bakers Dozen does not
exist, so, in order to get
around this dilemma, I
had no choice but title the
poem, a bakers cousin or
else it would have been
called Le Boulanger's Dix
which has a ******* sound
to it and the #MeToo lot
are already complaining
about the ****** innuendo
of what some see as a blatant
symbiotic patriarchal profession
that has created both the Baguette
and the Croissant as some form of
visual representation of the phallus
and ****** with yeast being the
common denominator of them both,
therefore by introducing his cousin
and keeping the relationship within
the confines of an incestuous family
affair, the poem in theory should not
need to be censored by the readers,
unless of course you are a Coeliac
in which case I strongly advise that
all of what you have read here is best
erased from your memory immediately.
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2022
Abashed


Can we ever really imagine

what it feels like to be in

somebody else’s shoes?


Yes, is the answer to that.


Something happened to me

when I was a young boy.


It was the era when every

house had a last and hand-

me-downs were common,

often between relations

nephews even nieces.


On one such exchange I

was forced to wear a pair

of girls sandals with those

leather straps which had

a silver buckle that was

large enough for a belt.


Dancing shoes, in black

patent leather shiny as

saddles on postmen’s

bicycles and that is why

I wouldn’t go to Lucey’s

field to play football.


Because I thought they

would all be laughing.
Ryan O'Leary Oct 2021
I am not sure whether
                            Agnetha is dyslexic
or Anni a palindromist.
                             There is no point in
asking Benny or Bjorn.
                        Chiquitita was unable
to tell them what’s wrong.
                    So, why is ABBA written
backwards in lipstick, on the
              mirror, between two kisses?
Ryan O'Leary Dec 2019
I am not sure whether
Agnetha is dyslexic or
Anni is a palindromist
but there is no point in
asking Benny or Bjorn
because Chiquitita was
unable to tell them what's
wrong or why it is written
backwards in lipstick on a
mirror between two kisses!
Ryan O'Leary Sep 2018
Quickness of the hand
deceives the eye   <>

Extremities of the far right
opposed to the sinister left

Sweden's dilemma
A political palindrome.
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2019
BR is an abbreviation
              for,
Bromine, Bedrooms,
British Rail and Bread.
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2018
They were ok on the screen
of Breaking Bad, but one does
find that they can also be used
in a condescending tone.

The British are quite goos at it,
demeaning derogatory undertones by
verbal diminishings, such as, The IRA.
Full denomination please, makes one Irate.

Ps.

They say, The I.R.A. is a terrorist organisation
Not, The Irish Republican Army is a T.O.
Irish Republican Army
does not have a T nor an O
in its composition, it is highly
disciplined and organised,
with commanding officers
and Generals, just like all
armies.

Not a Terrorist Organisation.
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2019
I think my baker did
not hear me correctly,
misunderstood me, or
perhaps, it's my accent.

When I asked her for
a small loaf, because I
was glutton intollerant,
she gave me a coeliac bap.
Ryan O'Leary Aug 2022
Abettor


If I am not being prosecuted

then I fear that I have done

nothing wrong or I haven't

offended anyone, therefore

I am guilty of being a silent

witness to a crime that has

been committed and so far

it has gone unreported and

not contested or protested

by me. So I am an abettor.
Ryan O'Leary Nov 2021
Happy endings only occur in
massage parlours, fairytales
and Hollywood. Alternatively
we need to accept that loves
conclusions are misleading,
unless the author terminates
the narrative prematurely, by
which case, in
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