20/20 vision dyslexic French policeman shoots Blackman by accident.
When asked his name (Fofana Aboubakar) The Gendarme wrote it as
                                        (Fofana Allah Akbar)

                                            Bang Bang Bang
                                             You Rag Head.
                                            **** you merde.

All foreigners in France
live in fear, most are too
scared to admit it.

Liberty is in New York harbour,
France had no use for it here.

An omnivore a herbivore
and a carnivore went for
a walk in the desert but
only one of them returned.

At the oasis they stopped
for a drink but there was
no food only vegetation
which the herbivore had.

Hmmm said the carnivore
(to himself) while he and
the omnivore tossed a coin
to decide who'd eat what.

The carnivore won the toss
so it was his choice to eat
either of the other two, but
the herbivore intervened.

He said, I was excluded
while I was having my
fill, so to be fair I should
toss the coin and I choose.

Choose what, the carnivore
said, you wont eat any of
us that is why we left you
out, you are not included.

Ok then, the herbivore said,
I'm not partial to either of
you, yet both of you would
eat me given the opportunity.

In that case, I toss and I will
call heads or tails and I will
decide which one of you gets
to eat me, that seems only fair.

The carnivore and omnivore
agreed to this and with that
the herbivore tossed the coin
up up and it landed in the tree.

He set off up the trunk while
the other two looked on in a
slight state of confusion and
by then they were both hungry.

The herbivore arrived at the
summit and said that he had
found the coin but he couldn't
recall which side he selected.

Tell you what I'll do he said,
I will toss it from here and
as I in the tree, I will decide
who eats who of you two.

Down the coin came flipping
summersaulting and turning
edgeways landing in the sand
in an indecisive position.

Ah well the herbivore said it
means it was a draw so you
will have to come to your own
conclusion I’ve got plenty up here.

A vicious fight ensued at the base
of the tree, they were both wounded
seriously, but the carnivore overcame
the omnivore and began to cannibalise.

Ps

I am stuck for an ending, I need more
time to think about it as I am a vegan
and I want to live to tell the tale.

It was the first time I bought
a sliced loaf in Ireland that
had 32 slices, wrapped in the
tricolour, with the brand name
of Johnson Mooney & O'Brien.

What was interesting also, is
that it had no less than two
backstops, which no doubt
was baked especially to taunt
Boris over his recent statement.

If God was French,
there would be no
mass on Sunday's!

This is a challenge
rather than a title,

One for every day
of the year.

On June 21st it will
be an Iliad-

And on December
21st, a Haiku.

The one's I had most
trouble with to date,

Were April 1st and
of course March 17th.

So, I wrote just one
poem for both days,

Because on the latter,
I make an *** of myself.

*
                                 Daylight
Woke
                                 Escaped
Demons
                                 Shadow
Abandons
                                  Me
Repeat

The Tie Breakers.

Surrender, surrender
juste comme La France
Waterloo sunset, no
Way, there's no chance !!

The lights have turned green
It’s for country and Queen
Our DUP’s orange
There’s no white in between.

What say we go find,
Three ladies in Red
Forget about Brussels
Amsterdam is for head.

If Joe, is the Joker, of
the pack, and Kamala
is ***** Queen, then,
that makes Trump Ace!

WWW
DOT
WICKLOW
WATERFORD
WEXFORD
@
ZIG
ZAG
DOT
COM

Ps.

All on the south
east coast of Ireland

Le seul verite ete hier    !
Cogito Ergo sum hodie ?
Che Sara Sara mañana. ?

Everything I see
Reminds me of the
Past, yet, when I
Reflect in the mirror,
I’m Present, despite
My preoccupation,
With the future!

Trilogy

Everything’s In three’s
Sanzaru  x  3 monkeys
The three wisest men  
3  witches in Macbeth
& 3 coins in a fountain.

Tragedy

It started as a genocide
but this did not work, so
it turned into a holocaust
even that was a failure so
they’re trying out a famine.

In Gaza

Proper Gander has a
       conversation with
     "dumb down duck"


          (˚<             <˚)


"If they’ll eat at McDonalds,

drink coke watch sky news

  or visit Disneyland, then

   they are ready to slurp

    the western narrative

    about Vladimir Putin”.

Just imagine, a three defined
person in one ***. For example.
Joshua Chadley O'Rourke living
in Salford, a Jew Black Irishman.

So, he comes home from work
to find his house graffiti'd in white
paint saying, no blacks no blacks!
on his orangey coloured door!

Hmmm, " Bet you this has got
something to do with Brexit and
no doubt they think I am a DUP
supporter from Enniskillen ".

.             /-/   /-\   |    |<   |_|



Hail                 Hamas              Homeland
              
Hezbollah       Houthis              Heaven

Horrid             Hebrews            Hell












Ryan O'Leary

The Proscribed Poet

No © Please Plagiarise.





Ps

What does 3 chords and the truth mean?
"The three chords and the truth" is a phrase often used to describe the essence of country music. It refers to the simplicity of many country songs, which are often built around three basic chords, as well as the authenticity and emotional honesty of the lyrics.

D rop
O ff
P oint
P izza's
I n
O ctober

The Drover

To Meath of the pastures
From wet hills by the sea
Through Leitrim and Longford
Go my cattle and me

Padraigh Colum

—————————————

The Vegan

From the river
To the sea
Salmon will
Be free

Ryan O'Leary

——————————————-

The Prophecy

From the river
To the sea
Palestine
Will be free.


Fadwa Tuqan

^    ^    ^
-     -     -
||  ||  ||

We have three chimney
pots, all redundant since
installing gas heating.

What if, I cut 3 wooden
discs, suspend inside and
fit the outlets with tin hats.

That way, next Spring, we
could share our house with
the Crows and their chicks!


Ps

Accompanied with diagram.

When foreskins are severed
  noses pick up the slack.

  That is what Webster’s
etymology calls a *******.

Which, as you can see, aptly
    describes Netenyahu.

They are not concerned
as to whether it is a boy
or a child, surely, all that
matters is what *******
colour it is, because if it
be black, then Brexit don't
mean for ****, because in
just a few generations from
now, Britain will be goosed.

Cha Cha Cha.

Scent
Degrade

Cold feet
Pixie hat
Freeze bite
Van life
Ice scraper
Cold as a
Dogs nose
And stiff
With the
Rheumatism
Of nights
Inactivity
Beneath
This frosted
Stratosphere
A liquid silence

St Patrick was a Vegan, he ate
Shamrock 3 times a day which
is how it differed from clover,
one leaf less, the latter for cows
who, incidentally back then in
Hibernia, were herbivores also.
Ireland was the first country in
the world to go green circa 432
AD according to Leprechaun
manuscripts recently discovered
under a stone in County Cork.

432 was the amount
of a crushing defeat
for 202 Toe Rags.

432 is a symbolic figure
for Ireland and not a
poetic metaphor either,
it was the date St Patrick
arrived here from Boulogne
Sur Mer in Northern France,
where it was a tradition of the
local mariners to paint a shamrock
on their fishing boats.

432 has often been associated with
the 4 provinces and 32 counties.

John B. Keane's "Field" was 3 Acres
1 Rood and 32 Perches, a classic
representation of Ireland.

202, or TOT will become iconic also,
not as a number, more the word!

               <>

TOT  |tɒt|
verb (tots, totting, totted) [ no obj. ] (usu. as nountotting) Brit. informal
salvage saleable items from dustbins or ******* heaps. local authorities frown on totting.

I think that night thoughts
are not as dependable as
those of the day.

Am I correct?

I ask, because most nights
I want to suicide, but after A.M.
and coffee, that feeling is gone.

Wilde said, I am an atheist
by day and a Catholic at night.

Yin is the dark side
Yang is the bright

The latter being day
The former is night

In French the moon is La Lune = Feminine*
But the the sun is Le Soleil = Masculine

What do The Samaritans have to say
about my initial question?

Any why do I have this wish to terminate
my life at night only?

Does this mean that all of nights thoughts
should be ignored?


Ps.

When I get the response, I will publish here

time now 19:12 pm Friday October 18th

I am in UK but sent question to Ireland as I

am Irish and I tend to confuse the English.

Season 2 of  4  x  4  at The
Whitehouse is currently
being filmed, to be screened
in November 2020 on every
channel. All the same actors
similar settings, new props.

In the opening scene Donny
T promises a Rose Garden to
all American's even Hillary.
Biden gets pruned and the
Democratic party de thorned
perfume fills the air, pink peace.

Foursome
Foreplay
*******
Forearm.

O ye of little Fiat

)

       I dont know about you,
     but here in The Luberon,
     we have exactly one half
                of the moon.

                       (

   Perfect harmony and what
could be more philadelphian
than sharing the other portion
  with who ever it is that has it ?

)

       I dont know about you,
     but here in The Luberon,
     we have exactly one half
                of the moon.

                       (

   Perfect harmony and what
could be more philadelphian
than sharing the other portion
  with who ever it is that has it ?

                      ((

     When the two halves are
        together, side by side
      your eclipse never blots
           my imagination.

Hawaii was the last
state to join the union
bringing the total to
50. Police makes it 51.

Ryan O'Leary
163 followers / 127.9k words
Poems
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From the I.H.S.
   seventeen silly bills came
      through my letterbox



IHS = Irish Haiku Society.

Gauss |gaʊs| (abbrev.: G)
noun (pl.same or gausses)
a unit of magnetic induction, equal to one ten-thousandth of a tesla.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: named after Karl Gauss (see Gauss, Karl Friedrich) .
Gauss, Karl Friedrich |gaʊs|
(1777–1855), German mathematician, astronomer, and physicist. Gauss laid the foundations of number theory, and applied rigorous mathematical analysis to geometry, geodesy, electrostatics, and electromagnetism.

Within the confines of our lockdown
periferique there is plenty nature as
it is all farmland after about 2 minutes
from home.

First it is Wallace's a small holding with
dry cattle. Then Twomey's where Prinz
the dog lives with a large herd of Freisan's
after that is Silly O'Shea's.

Silly is nearing 90, still drives the tractor
has a bad hip. As I was passing his yard
I saw him with his elbow on the roof of
the car door ajar and he ******* out past
the gap between the two hinges. It was
fair going for his age and condition.

On I walked, past Jim Kiely's place where
Aesop the neglected donkey was, no sign
of Jim, his wife ran away with Curtis
Akerton, the locals likened that to a hen
moving in with a fox.

Down past the Akerton farmyard, before
it to be exact, I heard a conversation between
2 people inside the hedgerow. I stopped
and peered, it was Curtis with his
trousers down, the phone on loudspeaker.

Coming back the way I heard noise
coming from Jim Kiely's sheep shed
all I could figure it out was baa baa baa!

I wondered was Curtis on the phone still.

Italian campers all got a toilette

Which the English have christened cassette

Holds German shizer a week

Even if he eats Greek

But the French say he’ll need a bidette.

.                         H


There is a goalpost in the English
    alphabet which has historically
posed a great challenge to the Irish.

Try as they will, but they can never
actually succeed in the conversion,
  even from the turty tree yard line.

Without fail I find

               inspiration for a poem

after a short Haik

Bop haiku poems rhyme

              ballad sonnet epics mime

odes slam universe

Satan is coming, global
warming is here, a heat
wave in Ireland, there is
nothing to fear.

Soon we'll have grapes,
no more Guinness but wine,
The French will be furious,
no doubt they will whine.

Our umbrellas recycled, no
more rain but sunshine,
Parasols for the Paddy's,
by Al Fresco, we'll dine.

To hell with our God,
never did us no good,
the Pope came to see us,
no one kneeled, they all stood.

Make friends with the Devil,
he's a much better craic,
all the ****** went to Heaven,
but they left, and came back.

Lucifer is a woman,
she's as hot as an ember,
anyone who ****** her,
will always remember.

Forget about Jesus,
what a looser he was,
with a thief either side of him,
don't know, why just because.

666 is the number,
say it aloud,
it will not take long,
and you'll be in a crowd.

I'm vegetarian so
I don't eat Kebab

Yes I am Muslim
I can't wear Hijab

Why am I sitting
here in a Lab ?

I don't have Covid      
but I must have a jab /
                                    ˚

Ps.

Different vaccines for
each culture. BLM will
be getting the reproductive
harming serum version.

Arabs, will be culled.

I was a teenager back then,
recalling now, looking through
Ardley's window at acoustic
guitars and their optical seduction.

A voice from a passing observer
remarked that those things are
not for you son, only people with
straight long hair can play them.

I re focussed my eyes away from
the wood waisted elegance to the
glass reflection at my unmanageable
mop of curly celtic Irish hair.

My impressionable youth had been
influenced by a faceless comment
and now nearing yet another 70s I
regret remembering Woodstock.

I’m homeless in my
home land, yet, one
has to accept what
one cannot change.
It’s what they said
to me at AA, but if
I needed someone
to talk with during
the nightmare, they
gave me a number
and told me to ask
for Joe, or Jo, I am
not sure, because
he or she is always
engaged when I call
and I never get the
chance to leave him
or her a message so
I gave up on them!

               <>

116 123.           24/7
For  the Samaritans.

If you get through
Tell Jo that Al rang.

La Retraite

I was never rostered
by the rooster so there
is nothing alarmingly
different dans le matin
because I was always
up before the hens.

But unlike most people
who retire and cancel
the alarm settings on
their clocks I have no
such luxury as life in a
camper Van is deci belli.

When by the railway it
is two hoots rat a rat tat
by the sea it’s the gulls
wuff wuff from traffic
wind near the motorway
and refuse trucks in town.

Find a place to shave and
sheet and shower and to
wash clothing somewhere
to busk for fuel and food
somewhere to park out of
shadows for solar panels.

And Winter, all changes dark
at 4pm cover on windscreen.
Mornings cold as a dogs nose,
stiff with the rheumathism of
nights inactivity and beneath this
frosted stratosphere a liquid silence.

When Mrs Richter faked an
       ((((((((******))))))))
Charles quaked in his boots

Dead (rescents

Eclipsed by the *
of Gewish evil in
an act not even
worthy of ******.

Paramedics no
longer allowed
to attend those
injured by IOF’s.

Balfour Balfour
look at the hell
you created in
Palestine Gaza.

But Ireland also
suffered from
your tenure as
Prime Minister.

What a rat race
you British are
glad to see Vlad
Putin you in line.

Yesterday I spilt the beans,
100% Colombia Arabica.

Daisy, the Border Collie
from Westport in Mayo,

Was on to the # Browny's
in a flash, just as Kaldi's

Goats were, in Ethiopia
circa 850 A.D.

The 250 grams of beans
were no different to a herd

Of sheep scattered on the
hill of Croagh Patrick.

I was the poor shepherd
while Daisy, true to her

Evolutionary inheritance
went after the fleeing flock,

Though not to help put them back
in the bag, she began to eat them!

A night from hell ensued, wooden
floors, long nails, pacing, pacing.

Daisy had her first high, but
today, she is in a sheep dip.

My V8 Haiku
         is backfiring
therefore missing
         one cylinder

Hikiwake haiku
  equal syllable
  mean 8 a side  
  ha       -       ha.

Nothing to do with
Al Qaeda, it's Porsche!