I wrap my arms around myself
a sad attempt to keep all my pieces together
to not split down the middle
and tear at the edges
to not fall down
in this world
waiting to rip me apart
and scatter my pieces in the wind
I paste a smile on my face
and clumsily glue myself together
hoping it'll hold long enough
but when it finally gives out
I don't know what i'll do

there's this girl
she's standing on her balcony
staring at the rain
it's coming down strong
weighing down leaves
and striking the ground, each drop like a little bomb
she puts the hood of her pink jacket on
trying to protect her hair
but the split brown ends dangle out
and curl as they get soaked
she lifts her face up to the sky
feeling the cold drops on her face
and stuffs her hands in her pockets,
a lasting attempt to keep them warm
now completely soaked, she stares at the fogged up city, before walking inside

There's this wall
this great big wall
That the stars look down upon
and the earth holds up
that stands between us
but even though it's so big
neither of us can see it

Rain is like a song
That's lost its rhythm
Just pattering on and on
Trying to find a beat
That doesn't exist
The raindrops will keep splashing
Against the roof
With no rhyme or reason
Just landing wherever they want
Just because they can

I'm so used to hiding my face
Behind a smiling mask
And being so careful of every move I make
It feels weird opening up
Like I might scare you away
So I really hope I don't
Or haven't already
I'm not really sure if you could call this a poem
But I was thinking
I have all these drafts
Of poems
I'm too scared to publish
So sitting here in bed at eleven at night
I thought heck it
Here's a rant
My life seems all about the likes
I know this is such an overused metaphor
But really
My day isn't good
Unless my Instagram pic gets at least 100 likes
Hey i could write a poem about that
Anyway
I've actually written quite of few poems
Not all of them published
About hating myself
I mean for one thing who wouldn't love to be a super skinny blond blue-eyed chick
On the front of a magazine
posing in her underwear and getting paid for it
My biggest issue though
Is my weight
Let me tell you something though
I am not overweight
And really it's not a problem to be slightly overweight if you are
But I'm letting you know that I've been told my weight for my height is just fine
But I'm tall
Like really tall
So normally I weigh more than everyone in my class
And even though
I'm told it's not a problem
for me it really is
So this rant is getting pretty long
So I'mma end it here
And promise myself that I will not chicken out
And will publish this
But this was fun
So who knows
Might do it again

I was once little and innocent
Playing with my best friend
In the tree house
I played in the sandpit
And threw a ball at the hoop
But my favorite thing to do
Was to go on the swings
To kick off from the ground
And soar higher and higher
And feel that feeling
Of freedom
To feel the wind in my face
eyes closed
Legs pumping back and forth
Higher
And higher
Until that whistle blows
And the teacher calls us inside
To go color some more pictures
coloring was my idea of hard work
But
I got my first taste of reality
In first grade
When i left my friends
And found new one
Something I've done
Countless times
since
I would leave a friend
A home
A school
And move on
Find new friends
Make a new home
Go to a new school
Along the way
I learned betrayal
A friend who goes behind your back
And says she doesn't care
Heartbreak
Loving someone
Who will never love you back
hard work
Trying so hard
Yet still failing
but
My story’s not done yet
I haven't learned everything
I have more to know
More to see
More to hear
But one thing's for sure
I am no longer that little girl
On the swing
Feeling freedom on my face
Heck
I haven't gone on a swing in years