You were with a girl.
I'm not sure if she's just a friend.
Maybe she's more than that.
Maybe her smiles touch your soul gentler.
Maybe her voice soothes the storms in your head.
Maybe her kisses make you feel safe.
I'm not sure.
I don't want to be sure.

You were with a girl.
Maybe this time, I'll stop checking my phone for messages that'll never come.
Maybe I'll stop counting the days since we last talked.
Maybe I won't think of you anymore.
I'm not sure.
But *******, I wanna be.

Getting your heart broken feels like a nightmare that you actually have to live in.

Have you ever given this a thought?
Who will mourn your death?
Your better half?
Your loved ones?
Your friends?
Sad to say...
Life doesn't come to an end when you die
The moment your breathing stops
The clock ticks still
The wind blows as usual
The sun still shines
Life continues
Never stopping
Never ending
At the funeral
Your closed friends cry
Your family breaks down
Temporarily grieving
They wear black
They visit your grave
Your name may linger in their hearts
But as they start to laugh again
You became a memory
The world continues
Life moves on....

I felt so alone at that moment, I don't know why but the thought of it makes me greatly depressed. Then as I sat on the chair alone I noticed something. It was quiet. Not a sound could be heard but the crickets.

And I began to feel so overwhelmed with emotions, tears ran down at the ****** of my thoughts. And there I was, alone, alone with myself, alone with the silence and alone with alone.

the worst feeling is the one when writing is the only release you've got but you've got writers block and you can't conjure the words that explain the emptiness behind your thoughts
the word indescribable cancels itself out and you're left wondering if writing on cave walls sharpens or disintegrates the rock.
I wish I could find the words to tell you that I can't sleep at night, not even under your sheets and Christmas lights, and I'm not sure why. I wish I could find the words to tell you that I never have energy or motivation or an appetite.
I wish I could find the words to tell you that I miss your passion and affection and the inspiration you used to spark inside of me. And even more so the words to tell you that I think you misplaced those things, like your wallet and dollar bills and lighters.
I'm searching under couch cushions for cheek kisses and creative lyrics about the sparks I lit inside of you.
Maybe you didn't lose them though. Maybe I lost the fire.
Maybe I'm the small fireworks at ten pm and you're midnight on New Years Eve.
Maybe you need a bigger flame.
I want you to have that.
I want to be that, but the only words I can think of to tell you are that I've found damp coals in my soul and I don't know how to replace them with new ones.
I wish I had words.
These words are hollow.
Which makes sense because that's all I've felt lately.
I hope you continue to love me when I'm nothing but hollow eyes and dark circles and collar bones.
I hope I can continue to love you in the right way with this skeleton but I feel weaker knees failing me already.
Show me how to float like you do.
Show me how to fly and light on fire.
Let me be midnight with you.
I need to be midnight or I won't make it until then.

That last sentence has so much meaning behind it and I wish I could find the words to explain the symbolism or intensity of it.
I wish I could find words so I could stop with the repetition but I'm just repeating myself.

This page is for me
On the road to recovery
As i try to live with the memories
Of you and me.

This page is for me
As i take it one day at a time
Till the day i think
I can get over you and me.

But for now
This page is for me
To show you
That all i can truly
Think about
Is you.

I sit in bed,
Contemplating my life,
Wondering where else can I go?
Where else can I hide?

You will always be there,
No matter how hard I try,
Because I'm actually looking in the mirror ,
Looking at my reflection and my life.