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Once again I'm in this
state of mind that just hates
the way I look.
I just want to yell at myself
for looking like this
and then for acting stupid,
I shouldn't be hating myself.
But I do. And I can't stop.
My pastor asked me what my relationship with God was.
I didn't know.
Shouldn't I know and shouldnt I have a relationship with our Lord?
He isn't a liar or a legend.
He is my Lord. My saviour I look to when I have nothing else. HE IS MY LORD
Is he yours?
 Mar 2014 robotical world
Tatiana
The glory days are over,
nothing lasts.
There is no such thing as forever,
look at the hour glass.

This was going to be metaphorical,
something that would make an impact.
But my life is too confrontational,
to even make a solid pact.

I know what some people would say,
that i'm sixteen, and have not faced real problems.
But do you know what problems are in my way,
that block the garden that no longer blossoms.

Everyday I wake up,
I look into traumatized eyes.
These poor children who are seen as a hiccup,
a mistake, that has been made by the unwise.

I do not think they are a mistake,
but I sometimes wish they weren't born.
Abusive homes that made them ache,
echo in their souls that are torn.

How do you fix something so broken?
When you are still trying to find yourself.
How do you get chosen,
to watch shells of children beg for themselves?

Am I a kid?
I can't be one in this situation.
I put on a lid,
and shut out my childish temptations.

Too much too soon,
it suffocates me.
I love them so much that I swoon,
when they cry from the pain that won't leave them be.

I try, God knows I do,
to help them live.
We helped one before and he has become new,
but the others, I fear, can not understand what we give.

How do you teach a child creativity?
Or teach them that hitting, is not love.
How do you teach them to act independently?
When they act as one to not get smacked from above.

When does this madness end?
Can it all become normal?
Forever, changes and bends,
I should have known it all would crumble.

One of them is afraid of the dark,
another is afraid of closed doors.
The monster in the dark is real and it sparks,
the other to be locked in rooms alone, fearing the war.

The security blanket was burned long ago,
it must be knit back.
Patch by patch we sow,
and hope to God they don't enter the black.

The glory days are over,
they have been for a long time now.
I hope I can help these children find a four leaf clover,
they need the luck, i'll help them, I won't bow.
One can chose to be complacent.
But one could never be.
One must be given and give,
love and responsibility.
Or one shall never achieve.
Dear my hopeful tomorrow,
I walk the streets during the day and during the night,
for you to take away my sorrow,
its hidden but still there,
and I feel you kiss me with rain in the air,
time and people move slow here,
like they know the date but forgot the year,
so I keep the headphones pressed in my ear,
wondering yet smiling, how did I get here,
tomorrow will be beautiful I say,
as the clouds and rain tell me you're going to stay,
I can dance with a memory,
but feeling down and low,
I smile as I hold my hand oot,
and ask like a geek for you to dance,
my hopeful tomorrow
I've been drinking about you baby
trying to drown you out of my head
but the poison makes you stronger instead

I've been smoking about you baby
inhaling you into my lungs
i miss the feeling of touching each others tongues

I've been pill popping about you lately
to make me feel more numb
the fact that i still need you is really pretty dumb
might delete this soon, just something i'm writing to get feelings out while i'm pills at the moment so idk
 Mar 2014 robotical world
Daan
My feelings are neglected, my love
was never appreciated. The care I took
did not fulfill her demands and secretly
my friends are laughing, I just know.

And there's nothing I can do to make you see
nothing to connect you with the real me.
I'll tell you what I want to say
not what you hope on hearing.

I danced with you but you forgot,
my time with you, unknowingly comforted
but my actions were betimes aborted
because you seemed a little occupied a lot.

But there was nothing I could do to make you see
nothing to connect you with the real me.
I'm telling you what I want to say
not what you're hoping on hearing.

Now accept my offer and release your yet
inner intellect, equally protect and let
me increase the amount of question marks
with complete obliviousness, it all embarks.

There was nothing I could have done to make you see
nothing to connect you with the real me.
I have told you what I wanted to say
not what you hoped on hearing.
I did not want to ruin the book by writing the note inside it
So I put a piece of paper in it to tell you
It always was and always will be you.

(2020 edit: god oh god, the cringe is real.)
You know how you try to hold water in your hands
but the water always slips away?
And then you try and try and try
to make sure the water doesn't slip away.

It's never ending,
no matter how many times it slips away,
the next time we try,
we would do it again and again to make sure it doesn't.

Maybe it's the same for love.
Well,
similar
not same.

When you try to hold love in your hands,
no matter how big your hands are
or how tightly your fingers are put together
love will still slip
through those small little gaps
you will never be able to cover.

But as love slips,
unlike water,
it leaves a
wound
scratch
abrasion.
And even if time heals them
the next time we try to hold love in again
it will still slip away
leaving us with
hurt
agony
pain.

That's how love works,
merciless with side effects like
rejection
conflicts
misunderstandings
over thinking
over caring
leaving you with indescribable pain.

But at the end of the day
the love left in your palms
is the love we deserve
for trying so hard
Soft somnolent skies have ceased seething, for day’s nearly through,  
while winds echo whispering thoughts of returning to you
and heavens throb, pulsing and bleeding in crimsons, once blue -
their passions, like flames, fill my veins as you pass into view.
The breeze holds her breath as you touch, then embrace me anew
and smoldering clouds withdraw, blushing, then paling their hue.

The twilight is painted with wandering dreams of your charms,
so close your eyes slowly and slip into sleep in my arms.

The pendulous moon appears, sweeping the fog from up high
distilling the drops into notes of a hushed lullaby,
their quavering tunes spinning tales which amaze, mystify,
while tremulous stars fling a fire that fevers the skies,
for stories they tell reflect love as revealed by your sighs -
their fury is burning, alive in the depths of your eyes.

The twilight is painted with wandering dreams of your charms,
so close your eyes slowly and slip into sleep in my arms.

The shifting shore’s moaning, seduced by tempestuous tides
which flow with the rhythm of flesh as our senses collide,
and quiet explodes as the stillness of night’s amplified.
A lingering kiss bids adieu till the morning breaks wide
when cockerels come conjuring dawn with voluptuous pride
enticing the sun into banishing night, starry-eyed.

The twilight is painted with wandering dreams of your charms,
so close your eyes slowly and slip into sleep in my arms.
 Jun 2013 robotical world
j
I want to run away
to escape the trivial doings of everyday life
the same routine
every
single
day
I just want to escape
to a land so far away
and be free

To be able to love the world
the grass
the sky
the sun
the moon
the stars
                  the simple beauties of nature

to be able to love those things
so simple
so pure
so alluring

to be set free of the boundaries set
by rules
and laws
and society

to finally be
                            f   r     e         e

I would no longer be restricted
or judged
or held back

and my future
it would truly be
in my own hands
and I could do as I please

a free soul
wandering the Earth
with nothing to stop me

not having to follow
the same old routine
                                        go to school, then university, then get a good job that you hate, get married                          
                                         buy a nice house and car, be miserable, be boring

I can live my own life
as I really want to

I can be at one
with the planet

The Moon's child
the stars       dancing by my side
the milky way swirling around me, a staircase to forever
The Sun holding my hand
                palms sweaty with apprehension
the grass my blanket
the breeze my goodnight kiss

a simple life
fulfilled with simple
yet such extraordinary
desires
you
the sounds of earth move beneath my feet

dragging me down below

my hands scrapping at the floor

looking for something to keep me here

my arms losing strength

my back giving in

then the thought of you holds me still

allowing me to save myself

to come back for you
not necessarily a good poem

— The End —