My life is not a work of art
I manipulated the composition
I have fooled, the audience well
With gentle strokes of fiction
The canvas started out so clean
The brushes were filled with hope
But as the colors began to appear
They turned darker with each stroke
The content filled with loneliness
The image invoked confusion
So as curator, I worked real hard
To create this beautiful illusion
The architecture is minimal at best
These walls have left me trapped
The canvas filled with pain and lies
So I revert, to the abstract
The world is so insensitive
It cares not, for the real you
So I've manipulated the monochrome
So the color changes hues
But on this canvas, a life is hiding
An image, out of control, and bleeding
But I'll keep painting, a picture for you
That remains, aesthetically pleasing.

You scars make you more beautiful
they’re part of who you are
they show the battles you have fought
and still, you’ve come this far
Your scars make you much stronger
than you ever thought you were
they show the pain, that you’ve been through
and how much you can endure
Your scars make you resilient
despite what others may say
they show that you’ll keep fighting
despite the fears, that you have faced
Your scars make you more honest
the truth has nowhere to hide
they show your heart upon your sleeve
so wear your scars with pride
Your scars make you a testament
to the wars that you have won
and despite how many times you fall
they show the world, that you’re not done
Your scars make you a warrior
they show that you’re courageous
they show a desire, to keep on punching
and a will, that is contagious
Your scars make you more beautiful
despite what you think the world sees
you never have to run and hide
your scars are beautiful to me.

The battle lines have all been drawn
the war has just begun
I watch you standing front and center
while others turn and run
You’re not the type to shy away
as the flames begin to ignite
You **** your fists, and charge the hill
always ready for the fight
The battle is no different now
than it’s always been before
The enemy will fall the same
when you knock them to the floor
You’ve always had the inner strength
even when you, were younger
But remember soldier, you’re not alone
with me, you have strength in numbers
You have, a winnable strategy
that will make your future brighter
And soon, you’ll be victorious
because, you’ve always been a fighter!

I could say, a million nice words
and you’d find a way, to twist them
you just can’t seem to live your life
unless you’re playing the victim
you’re always saying, that things are your fault
so your friends, will tell you they’re not
you feed off the energy, we use to convince you
as part of your manipulation plot
you try so hard, to cause a storm
in the sunniest, of weather
which is why, the relationships that you form
will never last forever
you drive the people, that love you away
for a purpose, you’d never mention
a sickening method, you choose to use
in your desire, for more attention
but take a good look, around you now
at the relationships, you have left
would anyone there, take a bullet for you
from the ones, that you have kept
when the dust settles and the smoke is clear
take a look at who’s still standing there
the irony will be, they’re just like you
and not a single one of them cares
there’s not a single person, within that room
that will serve, your evil purpose
they’re just as sick and twisted as you
and when you really need them, they’re worthless.

I’m pretty sure you’re well aware
of how much you’re hurting me
but i’m also sure that you don’t care
cause you’re not around to see
the damage that your silence has done
cannot be washed away
i’ve cried an ocean of tears over you
and you still have nothing to say
the days drag on and the nights are rough
as you happily go on with your life
I used to think that I was so tough
until I felt you twisting the knife
you must have stabbed me a million times
and yet I always came back for more
I guess I thought, that someday you might care
until you turned on me and slammed the door
now I see that you’re not coming back
and it’s slowly driving me insane
I wish I never met you now
I wish I never even knew your name.

i’m sitting here in silence
just wondering if you’re okay
and if you were to call me now
I don’t know what i’d say
the last message, that you sent to me
was nothing short of heartless
but my mind is playing tricks on me
despite not wanting any part of this
you’ve always had the ability
to weasel back into my life
and i’m not sure that I am strong enough
to convince myself it’s not right
for 23 years, you’ve ****** with my head
and drove me to the brink of death
you’d think, that would make me smart enough
to step back, and take a breath
but I believe, if you contact me
I’d take you back, without a thought
despite the pain you put me through
despite how hard i’ve fought
to bury your memory deep within
the dark cellars of my mind
to put you in my past for good
and move on to better times.

I have to be a good girl
and take my pills, like the doctor said
cause there is just no telling
what would happen inside my head
if I were to miss a dose or two
of the ones that make me smile
the ones that make me talk and laugh
and seem normal for a little while
what if I skipped the blue today
would it fill my head with sorrow
and what if I skipped the orange for once
would I wake up here tomorrow
what if I spilled the white ones out
and threw away the bottle
would I lose my mind for good this time
or dive in deeper like Aristotle
what would truly happen to me
if the happy pills, were gone for good
would I try to off myself
and would I stop it if I could?