Dear Mine

If someone told me I could look into the future and see where I'd be in 24 years, and not only that,
see the journey leading to that point and I could make the decision to take another path,
but not see the future I would have said
NO.
Why?
Because I'm not a coward, nor have I ever been and neither do I ever want to be.
So, I never saw the path I'd take and I never dreamed it would lead me here,
writing this letter and even though I said I wasn't a coward,
and you're reading this thinking I really am,
just let me tell you, 24 years on, you have to admit I'm strong, even stronger to be doing this, but you and I?
We deserve better....

I Love You

Three words, out of the millions that have passed between us,
three words that have been a constant in so many days when words were like swords,
or rain,
or drought
or when a mute just wants to break out and say "Hey, I'm not just pretending there is a wall here, lm really trapped! Help Me!"

I like to to sing Pink inside my head just to keep my pen to this sheet of paper
* "We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to Love again"*

I believe that with every beat of my fractured heart and I hope you do too because with only one of us believing it, we will never be whole again.

I Love You

Blossom **

Princess Lollypoppy lived in a castle far away
But all she could think about is running far far away
Ever since prince lollypoopsie was born
All she could see was her clothes being torn

She tried one day to runaway
Unfortunately her father's carriage stood in the way
She tried cycling through the forest
But her tires kept getting caught in the mud and she had to give it a rest

Her mother was of no help,
Ever since the prince arrived
Her life was totally ignored
It was always 'don't scream, your brother will wake'
or 'give it back, your brother will cry'

It felt like the end of the world for Princess Lollypoppy
When even her clothes were given away
She decided enough was enough
And went into a deep sleep
till today, she has yet to awaken from her deep slumber
Awaiting the prince who will never come
and the fairy godmother who never existed!

Feverish calamity besets the lovers
Devilish in the spite of the enemy
Where intensity of love exists, in a moment it might transcend to hate
Fiendish rivalry between love and hate
Results in love’s cherished heart dismayed
Whether in spite or love betrayed
Like a million arrows arrayed
Across the heart and
Beats stopped
For want of
Little
Less
Of hate
And now embalmed
In cowardice
Life deviates
Nothing like love betrayed
Feeling numb and used are enlightened feelings of hate
Be gone now, fever and all
I must hate now, and forever more!

will you lay with me
beneath the stars
will you catch each one that falls
will you hold me closer
till we each can't breath
and the world is over

will you leave when all is gone
when i ask you to run away
when i can't take any more of this
will you give me one more kiss
to place above our heads
to remember each word we say

clearly pain has stretched our minds
will we ever understand it
besides within ourselves
will you leave it all behind
will you creep in closer to me
when my tears have made me blind
will you catch the feelings
i have lost so long ago
and bring them back to me
wil you



1/27/03