My teacher asked me what kind of animal I would be
I don’t care
Just try
Id be a bird
Why?
So I could fly into the nearest ceiling fan
That’s funny
I wasn't joking

Learned to scream without making a sound
Learned to cry with my eyes closed
Learned to dream without sleep
Learned to bleed without cuts
Learned to feel pain on the inside
Learned to hide scars so they don’t leave marks
Learned to bleed with a heart that stopped beating
Learned to breathe with lungs that have long since collapsed
Learned that my problems cause my loved ones to suffer
Learned that an apology don’t fix anything
Learned that living doesn't mean you’re alive
Learned that asking someone for help makes you a pathetic attention seeker  
Learned that its probably better to die rather than to fake living

Have you ever felt so numb that it hurts?
So empty that your hollow , like a tree that has only ever been cut down
A life so tramatic it loses its appeal
So lost and out of options
So lost and out of range
Ii seem to have lost my will to live
can someone  help me find it?
Maybe its behind the mask ive been wearing for so long
That mask that I use to hide my pain
Pain hidden away with practice
Scream the pain away
Scream from the top of your lungs . but no one wll hear
You cant see yourself being anything you want to be
No all you can see is your own misery
You get lost In your own senselessness
Sit there quietly, don’t make a sound
The only thing you can hear is the sound of your own inadvertent loneliness
You cant do anything but sit there and get lost in your own worthlessness
Until blissful death

Scars that blister
Cuts that burn
Pain that never goes away
People who will never come back
Pain hidden with practice
Large unbeatable amounts of mundane sadness
Life is a poison that kills you slowly and painfully
No madder how much you want to , your life can never return to the way it once was

Not enough sleep
Forget to eat
Hide under your sheets
The Cuts to deep

Go to school ,tardy again
Homework forgot it
Teachers are fed up
**** forgot to pay attention
Feelings of inadequacy like a cancer in my body
Lunch comes around sorry  but I’m not hungry
And even if I was there’s no one to sit with

Writing poetry hoping someone will listen
To the broken record that is my voice
Hopefully someone will hear me before I lose all hope

Im so sick of the stress feeling like im about to explode
Finally rest my head , I hope I die in my sleep

Can’t fall asleep
Awake exhausted with only a few hours of sleep
Mind clouded with thoughts of death
Go down stairs mom gets upset you should have left by now
Put on my makeup , maybe it can  hide my insecurities
Swallow the pill that suppresses my personality
Go to school to feel humiliated
Feel the glares as they stare
Late again ? don’t you have any friends? So try to pretend  
I don’t eat yet I still taste defeat
I have a billion thoughts but can’t find the words to speak
No one can help me if I’m trapped in my own thoughts

If only I didn’t have to keep it all inside
If only I could talk to you without fear that you’ll cry
If only I could answer your questions without you asking why
If only I knew the answer I wouldn’t be asking
If only I could express my emotions without you asking what you did wrong
If  only I could be honest about my habits without you doubling your supervision
If only you really cared to listen maybe I wouldn’t be in such a predicament