You realize that you can never get back the things you used to have
The piece that’s always missing to the puzzle that you haven’t even started
Trust me its not an art the way people twist my words
Im sick of people and their overbearing feelings of content , well im not
Not that anyones shocked
The thoughts wont ever stop and the answers will never come
And as you get older death seems to be a better option

It had seemed like a horrible dream until I saw your lifeless face in the casket
What a waste of your life , that you lived for everyone but yourself
Just mentioning your name brings tears to my eyes
Your such an ******* you left me alone

When I saw you in the casket my heart stopped
You ******* we had a plan
When I was told about it my heart stopped beating
Im not as strong as you were
I cant keep moving
Biting my lip so I don’t burst into tears
This isn’t fair I never expected you to die first
You had so much more to live for that I never could
What happened you ambitions and a life plan
I wont forgive you for dying
You *******
Now im afraid to die and leave  people with the same pain you left me
I miss you  
I get that your dead and your never coming back but how can I accept that
You were so important to me
You’ve made me realize im such a child
I know that your dead but i keep crying hoping youll come back
Isn’t that sad I’m sure you’d laugh
And Till this day id give up anything for you to come back

Why why did you have to die
Losing you was the most painful things
Crying over once happy memories
forever holding onto the **** you left behind
I lost hope long ago
Thinking of you brings more tears to my eyes than a new born child
When you died
When I saw your casket I wanted to go with you
You ******* you promised to live a good life
I couldn’t accept it even if I tried
I miss you I miss talking to you I miss how you smiled even though life through so much stuff at you
And even though life ****** you kept your head up
You were suppost to do big things , we were suppost to grow up together
You were suppost to be here when I cried to tell me everything will be ok
Well now its not the same and I cant stop crying
You were smart, you understood me ,
Talked with you almost every night for hours on end
im on edge and try to call you out of habit  
but the phones been disconnected
And I punch a wall until my hand starts to bleed because  I cant take the agony of being the one left behind
You ******* what about the people you left behind to cry
Your voice is ingrained  into my head every day like a broken record
I feel like you purposely gave me a scar so I could never forget you
We never once had a bad time between us , and I regret nothing ive said to you but it still hurts

I should just die because I cant go on without you
Im left all alone

Not enough sleep
Forget to eat
Hide under your sheets
The Cuts to deep

Go to school tardy
Homework forgot it
Teachers are fed up
**** forgot to pay attention
Feelings of inadequacy like a cancer in my body
Lunch comes around sorry  but I’m not hungry
And even if I was there’s no one to sit with

Writing poetry hoping someone will listen
To the broken record that is my voice
Hopefully someone will hear me before I lose all hope

So Help Me

School is a bore , living is a chore , home is hell
Optimism won’t get you anywhere , and it doesn’t give you friends

Home is hell because all they do is yell
Education systems take away my creative ability with their cookie               cutter one size fits all system  
Living is the hardest thing to do anymore so why bother
Parasitic disorder always keeping me out of order

Mundane life where nothing excites
Enthusiasm is medicated away

With all this **** life’s shoved down my throat
How am I supposed to cope?
With all the pills they’ve shoved down my throat?
Maybe it will go away if I smoke
Then you think maybe dying is easier than coping with the pain of reality
It hurts so much I threw away my emotion
I’m so ugly I don’t even want to see my own reflection
I use photo shop more than my camera
The recurring feeling of nothingness is enough that make my body go numb
Life beat me till I couldn't get up anymore

With all this **** life’s shoved down my throat
How am I suppose to cope?
With that never ending feeling of no hope, maybe it will go away if I smoke
Then you think maybe dying is easier than coping with the pain of reality
It hurts so much I threw away my emotion
I’m so ugly I don’t even want to see my own reflection
The recurring feeling of nothingness is enough that make my body go numb
Life beat me till I couldn’t get up anymore