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 Apr 2014 reflectionzero
Q
Don't trust a word I say
I'm a liar, I swear
I lie in public, I lie at home
I lie so well it can't be fair
So don't trust me at all
I even lie to myself
I'll cross my heart (hope to die)
But my fingers are crossed as well.
I see the lot, denominated in slots, automated in spots, weakest to the plot, and I'm not, convinced it is wrong, nor minced in my longing for a song, a song to the sum, to the sun, to the one unto the ones unto none, nada, nothing, but a hum from beyond, a rumbling from a haunt, stumbling from a heart, belonging to a spark that departed a long-long time ago, where it started, and I'll go-go back there for the harp, for the halo, for the art of it, standing on the stars, apart, but a part of it, I'll go for the horns, for the dark, and for the parts discarded, I will, try my hardest, to remain in progress, a battery that charges for the harvest of the starkest of the larvae unto the fiercest flies, unto spider webs in fragile skies, finite lines up high, where I'll die knowing I flew, die knowing the truth, the use, the abuse, the ruse, the heights of my sight, igniting in the lie, in the cries, so distant now, but a distinctive growl from yesteryear's child so mild, so wild as to be outed by a new sound, so profound as to drown the complexity out, and simply shout from anyone's mouth, reading out-loud and clear, my cloud, my thoughts, my fear, left right here on a single space, where I placed it and saved it away in the seventh day of this resting case, that is all but closed, a screen saver transposed as knowns exposed, and I'm aroused in knowing the doubts are clothed in lace, soaked on display for my placation's of our days, the daze, hazily grazing on the safe, the fates, locked in a slate, for later placement to a shape, I'm hate, wrapped in a hopeful taste, waiting for a saying to say it all,  ~ I'm spaced.
 Apr 2014 reflectionzero
st64
dive
 Apr 2014 reflectionzero
st64
dive.. dive..
dive*


1.
I am eating fog on this pre-dawn bridge
an overcoat of no particular mood
     keeping intact considered-sincerity of warmth
     inhaling air tight with thin droplets
the c-cold of someone's click-clack in the distance
only an echo of studious-oblivion
glancing over the rail as the water swirls, dense

the silent hum of a slow-passing vehicle
windows darkly stare
I wonder who'd possibly be passing by here
and would they be connecting with that swirl, too


2.
there must be a walrus under there
         (shrinking-violet, that it is)
its projections long and probably needing plumbs
the departing fingers of night gnaw
attempt to steal what little shelters here
consent delayed by vertical-curses in bloom
and I'm thinking of a cat I used to have
who certainly didn't favour water

protests become latent-airborne, take off
as screeching squawks swoop by
hungry heartbeats gurgle, drip valiant
station within view.. phew, made it!



an accordion starts to play..
an elegy fit
for a dive.







st64, 3 April 2014
lovely weather these days.



sub-entry: goad-change

nothing like lifting the lid
insects swarm
sun exposing
giving rays

(thanks forever.. for all the help)

change is so good
change is healthy
what a goad-change!
Poets are mad,crazy because they can speak of their lovers lips and how those lovers collar bones curve perfectly so you may drink from it.

Poets are mad,crazy because they can speak about bones and how they can dance through your skin to reveal you are weak,frail nothing but fragile memories.

Poets are mad,crazy because in a pub full of people a single leaf that may try to escape winter would catch their eye.

Poets are mad,crazy because even in their sleep words swirl and dent themselves in their minds.

Poets are mad,crazy because whenever the wind blows,whenever the lips of someone loved moves they un code them and wrap them round their lungs.

Pets are mad,crazy because they cannot breathe without a pen,or a computer calling softly to them.

Poets are mad,crazy because they can write about things they have never experienced but still they come out like coins of silver.

Poets are mad,crazy because they can write about cemeteries and how ghostly streets  can be on the 26th of december.

Poets are mad crazy,because someone mere may just see the sun as a yellow piece hovering above,but they see it as a golden orb that signifies all life and love.

Poets are mad,crazy because no matter what they go through,no matter what they lose,no matter who they meet and what they experience,words will always be their first lovers and first friends.
We are all mad here
 Apr 2014 reflectionzero
Dánï
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.

I know* it's hard,
I know people like us don't have it easy.
But it's effortless to pick up a shard,
And mutilate ourselves until looking in the mirror makes us queasy.

I know we can't talk even if we wanted to,
I know our emotions aren't always crystal clear.
But if it's one thing we want and so desperately pursue,
Is to be able to utter an "I'm okay" and for it to be completely sincere.

I know we can't trust,
I know it's been broken so many times.
But we've wrongfully learned to adjust,
To someone who isn't worth it, to someone who just hurts and lies.

I know what it's like to need and not get,
I know what it's like to be told "just forget".
But they don't know what we've been through,
They don't know all we've had to endure.

I know ending it seems unquestionable and inevitable,
I know the pain seems irrevocable and inequitable.
But I just want you to know that I'm here,
And it's hard to speak but I'm all ears.

*
I know we put on a show,
Trust me, I know.
please don't hesitate to talk to me, I'm just a click away

-d.***
today while waiting for the train a woman with a voice so immaculate it sounded like a recording sang "at last" and i felt the final slivers of disillusionment scatter,
i felt love the way carrie bradshaw would type fervently about it late at night in bed,
i felt renewed faith in love surge through me.
though the tunnel i then walked through reeked of incense, i marveled at my own rebirth of innocence. wide-eyed once more.

today while on the train a girl in maroon pants tippy-toed and kissed her boyfriend and he sat next to me and she sat across from him. a couple of people stood in front of me, bustling along, but i shifted positions to meet the girl's gaze and gesticulated, "do you wanna switch seats with me?"
the look on her face said it all.
do unto others, right?

when we met it felt like he was speaking to a corner bookshelf of my heart that needed a little bit of dusting. he swiftly picked up one of those books and read from it and it made me feel good.
or at least that's what it says, according to my new journal.
i hope a fellow starry-eyed soul switches seats with you on the train so you can laugh at inside jokes with him,
i hope you can hold hands and marvel at the street performer
i hope you call your best friend and tell her about it while you're walking home,
i hope this happens to you, over and over and over,
repetitive but you're so happy you shed the cocoon of routine and burst out: untethered, fearless, maybe even into song.

cheer up, don't give up.
i guess you only like girls who are broken
and want to be hurt, like your hands
around her neck, want
bruises and cuts
in the shape of a heart,
inhaling and choking on your affection
like she needs it to breathe

translucent skin stretched across
veins that pump nicotine and you
you, you, you, you, you

judgement clouded by hyper-dependent
infatuation and the need to heal her
hollowness, although you’ll only ever be
another teardrop on her pillowcase
while she hums herself to sleep
with midnight lies

“the loss of you would be the loss of my life”

and the saddest part
is that i almost let myself fall
back into becoming that
lifeless, empty girl
once more because i thought it might
make you love me again.
written on 3/22/14
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