I'm afraid of what I'll do.

So much work...so little time.

i can't see myself without you.

It's a taste I'd never forget.

society said no;
      i let go.

scared because i
know the
truth.

sorry that I want so much
but I can't help but love
the way your legs tense up
when I go to the place you love so much.

am i even worth it to you?

why couldn't you just have told me?

Depression and bitterness are a lethal mix.

and without your love, I'm getting somewhere

he owned me and
I let him

I've never really
Been much for
Trying.

You could burn me alive, kick me in the sides, scream at me till I cry,
and I'd still be completely and utterly infatuated with your entire being.

It feels like
We're going
80 miles
Per hour.
But we're
Actually
Not moving at
All.

you're not mine and
now you'll never be
due to the fact that
you're happily
engaged.

i had hope for the
longest and
even though this
thought has entered
my mind before,
i always thought that
id be the one who you
said your vows
to.

its a good thing though.
as long as you're happy,
i am.

i just want the best for you.

even if it leaves me
completely
and utterly
depressed.

"so will I ever get another FT call from you or did my mumbling scare you off?"

I past by you in the hallway and
You tried so hard to
Look away but
Something told you to
Keep watching
Me.

I tried to keep looking f o  r w   a   r          d
But every time I looked there
It didn't feel right.
I mean, you felt like
My forward, like
Where I
belong.

As I kept on walking,
My heart slowed down and
So did the pace of my stride.
Was it my heart trying to
Tell me to go back?
Or
That I'm better off
Without him?

Maybe it was trying to tell me to
Grow a pair and
Go say
'Hello'.

in spanish we were
conjugating verbs-
hablar=halbo
(if you want it to
mean 'I talk')
hablas if you
want it to mean
He/She/It talks.
and so on.

by the third infinitve,
my mind completely
d     r     i f     t   e           d
by then.

at that time,
i thought of your eyes
and how they light
up the room.
i thought of your smile,
and how you make
me swoon.
i thought of
the words youve
said and
how many countless
times ive fell
for you.

and yet,
i come running back.
it seems like its the
only thing i
know how to
do.

i dont exactly have
anything to complain
about today.

the sun is shining
the music is nice,
my cat is fluffy,
hell,

today is ******* fantastic

im studying in my room,
im watching my nephew,
im drinking some tea,
and scrolling through
tumblr.

im messaging my friend(s)
im eating some pancakes
painted my nails earlier,
today is awesome.

ive started to think a
lot about myself lately
because all i do is
think about others and
its not fair to me at all.

when i go to homecoming
this week i will
smile and kiss my date and
be happy because hey,
im alive.

i wont show the pain
im feeling when i see
the man i love and
ill dance all night cause
i look ******* hot and
nobody can tell me i dont.

i wont let him get into my
thoughts and i wont let that
fabulous tuxedo he'll be wearing
distract me from the good things
in life.

like his smile or his
eyes or his 5 o'clock shadow or
his hands or his
height or the way
he bites his lip and
looks down or
how he says my
name.

no. i wont allow him
to get to me,
i have a dance to
attend.

I went that way to see you
But instead I got a better
Surprise by running straight
Into you at the door.
I fell and dropped all of my
Books and you smiled and helped me
Up and even picked my books up
For me.

We chit-chatted and we
Had a wonderful conversation and
He even told me that he
Was hoping I had a nice
Day.

Maybe I just look way
To much into things but
I'm pretty sure he wants
Me just as much as
I want
Him.

how many seas will i have to sail till i feel at home again?

I shall write about today
for the sake of wanting
to remember just how
sweet your lips tasted
and how much love
was shown
between
us.

1. We woke up pretty early (as early as it gets for me at least) and I was ever so playful (and wet). I wanted to make you breakfast and cuddle and take a warm bath with you, its all that I could think about.

2. We made love. Your Dad said he'd be gone for awhile, so we decided to make sweet love before breakfast, because by doing that, we would be starting off the day just right. (You tasted so good kitten.)

3. I made you breakfast. I made us some rockin' eggs and cereal while you cleaned the dishes. It felt like it was just us living alone together and I loved every second of it.

4. You tie dyed my shirts. I can't wait to have them... please make them smell like you first, I may be technically paying for the dye, but in my eyes I am only paying for your scent that you'll leave on them.

5. We took a nice warm bath together. That was such a nice bath. We had bubbles all around and we were laughing at my hair. We kissed a ton, and I could just feel love radiating between us. It was utterly wonderful darling.

6. You went in your room to go change, and I was ready to make your surprise before you had to leave for work. I wanted you to lay down with me, but you kept bugging me about your surprise. I know I can be selfish sometimes, but I just want to spend as much time as humanly possible with you baby.

7. I went to go make your surprise (Root Beer Float, of course!) and I ran back to your room. You were still naked to my surprise and all you wanted to know was what I was doing in the kitchen. I started walking back to the kitchen when you practically attacked me! You kept kissing me and begging me so much that I simply just couldn't resist. I made you *** right then and there in your hallway.

8. I made our root beer floats, and I watched you get dressed. I ate/drank mine and simply enjoyed everything around me. Life has been so good to me lately.

9. My Mom was on her way, so for the last 10 minutes of my time with you, we shared many kisses. They were all ever so perfect.

10. Leaving you is always hard, I only wish to stay forever. Maybe one day we won't have to leave. We can just stay in each others reaches everyday for the rest of our lives, my darling.

I did not want this day to end, but somehow I know that this memory will live on inside of my forgetful mind. I love you my dear, I truly do.

shes proud because
maybe he'll notice her
too.

And whatever this is, I've never known it.

I've never wanted to understand someone so much.

a star is a star is a star.

"It's just a different kind of love now."

the night sky just isn't the same anymore.

Hope is the very anchor of our soul.

the only thing he ate was my heart.

I'm probably going regret this in the morning.

What does pride have to do with anything?

how could I let it stay within me?

"well...here's the reason you have your headaches!"
you said my C1 is outta place...way outta place.
one of my ribs is kind of outta place, too.
and a few more of my vertebrae as well.
"did you take a lot of painkillers to rid yourself of the pain?
your stomach lining is practically gone!"
yes...much more than i should have.
that's why i'm on the medicine to help rebuild it, you know.
"describe your pain on a scale of one to ten, please."
it's a nine...
"a nine? in your condition, i'd expect a 10, if not more.
you need to start treatments right away if you want
this to go away."
honestly? i've felt much worse.