This is not who I am
I look in the mirror
Not my face
Not my hands
What is this
I'm scared
This is not who I am

I scream in terror
No one listens
I don't know
Who this is
I can't tell any one
It feels like the wrong skin
And the only person
I thought could understand
Is no where to be found

The game of life
Go fish or poker
We come to the table
Not knowing how to play
No rules but the ones we make
But the hand is in front of you
Kings and queens rule
Giving and taking
Maybe we find a partner
Some times you loose it all
The games not fair
You need to cheat to win
The game never stops
And eventually every one looses
Because the dealer is
DEATH

Watching the clock
The hands moves slowly
Feeling like time is running out
The hands like blades
Moving forward
Cutting away time
Tic Tok
Like the drip drops of blood
Every minute to every hour
A step closer to the grave
Tic Tok
Drip drop
The dark is coming

Demon in the dark
knowing full well
the fear and terror

Still knowing your soul
I feel your hear beat
Step by step

Watching you stumble in the dark
Catching the blood on the wind
Crying out in pain

But I am not the monster I thought I was
And not the monster other see
I do this for you

Hiding not moving
Refusing to rush in
Out of site and mind

This is your trail
Your adventure
Your life

And tho it hurts to not show my face
Or cheer you on or pick you up
I know your strong

I have watched you grow from a scared little girl
Lost in the dark and consumed by fear
And tho now you fear.. what I am not sure..

And as you grew I saw the strength grow too
But now this is your life and your fight
You need to cut your way through it all

Just know this
I will always be here in spirit
cheering you on

And you will find your way
this path is not all pain
There will be light

At the end of this night

Window to the world
You give me so much joy.
And make me feel so safe.

Looking at your screen
I can go any where
And your soft massages tell me there is some thing to see

I can play games with you
And some times you play games with me

Suddenly with out warning you show me
Things I let be
You torment me.

I turn away
Trying to close the window but you trick
You toy
Making me hit a button I don't want.

No no no.
Let me go back
LET ME UNDO IT!

But no what is done is done

Screaming in pain
No ones listening
Echoing in my head
The agony that is
And people watch
And people see
But no one is listening
I feel my flesh taring
My soul breaking
Mind is rushing
To dark places
Calling for help
But no one sees
Or no one cares
This razor dances
Across the skin
Lines of red liberation
To let out the pain
Is this a cry for help
Or maybe my  only
Way out
Now I bleed
Maybe now they will
See me screaming