it is written in the Olde Booke of Life
that when the Lion went unto the wild
to have its fill, when first it felt Hunger
the King of Beasts saw two creatures:
a human, under a tree, reading a book;
and a human, under a tree, writing a book
and the Lion ate the reader
for its inner voice told the King of Beasts:
"Eat the reader - for that is digestible;
but partake not of the writer
for it is susceptible to cramps
and worse, may cause a block"

And since then hath the Lion
lived in this wisdom:
*Eat of the reader, never of the writer

Dear Algebra Teacher -
stop asking us to find
your X
We can’t help you
if you mess it up

Next time, treat your partner nice
so you don’t have
to bring your personal problems
to class

So stop asking us to find your X;
we don’t know if you’ll ever find her
and we got a feeling your X
is never coming back
and really -  before you ask -
we don’t know Y either

The family bought the lie-catcher robot
(yep, the lcr HDX134)
and it was the boy
who was caught first
when his dad asked him
where he'd been all day
and he replied:
"I've been at the library all day, dad"
lcr HDX134 slapped the boy

The dad went berserk
and he said to his son:
"When I was your age, Tim -
I never told a lie!"
lcr HDX134 slapped the dad

And the boy's mom said:
"Don't be too harsh on Tim -
he's bound to tell lies;
after all, he's your son"
lcr HDX134  slapped the mom

"Mom, mom,"*  calls Susie
back home after school
in her new spurt of teenage energy
"I've decided:
when I grow up
I'm going to be a pop singer"

"But sweetheart," says mom,
the cool one
classy at all times
*"You know you can't do both"

Hey dad, you got to admit
life's tougher on kids nowadays
and you and mom had it easier
in your time as children

How's that,  son?

Well life makes more demands on today's kids -
you didn't have social media and twitter
and Likes and the need to do one better
and all these demands on time like indie videos
Sure, they might sound trivial -
but hey, surely your parents pooh-poohed
trends in your time

you got to respect your parents -
they gave birth and brought up kids
without Google or Wikipedia
without going on Safari
and without parading your
baby bottom on social media

and you, in your time,
you run to web-search
every time you get a pimple

then I tried the stage
me an actor, the thespian  
(Shakespearean, Greek tragedian
you know)
"Man and the arms I sing" - like that -
and so the director told me
I'd come on stage left,
a dramatic moment
amidst full sound effects
(and full house, of course)
and I would proclaim:
"O ye Gods, and O ye elements
and O ye thunder - rage on, rage on
for I fear not"

and I so galloped on stage
amidst full sound effects
(and full house, of course)
but I was confused by the sudden
and raging thunder above my head
and I proclaimed instead:
"What the **** was that?"


*And so ended my stage career
as it began
with a bang