it was pouring down rain but i could still feel the tears rushing down my face. i sat on my driveway looking at the stars.

every face i see, they can't see through me
they can't see the mask
the smiling and the laughing just covers everything up
everyday i put on a layer
i put on my nice clothes
i try to put on my smile
i try to make myself fit in
each person that talks to me, the mask is still
invisible
the mask
i paint it every day
i put it in
i put on the clothes i put on the attitude

but, when will they see the real me?

alone again

i punch the **** out of the porcelain sink
in the upstairs bathroom
the carpets already maroon
maybe the blood won't stain
everything else is out of my control
just something to make myself feel
my knuckles get more red as the time goes on
my fingers are swollen
but i keep punching the **** out of the porcelain sink

the light in your eyes brings me home every night and i can’t stop following it because it’s the only light i know. it guides me through each tunnel and hallway. it fills a lantern i grasp as i travel through each day, facing a darker darkness. each day i put your light in a jar or a lantern or in my bag and i carry it with me through each and every journey. the light in your eyes is what i see when i wake up and i hope it’s there everyday. i need a reason to keep waking up. every time i look into your eyes i hear wind chimes and i see the light like the sun rising every morning. and your eyes can’t just be described as a color. they aren't just blue. they are wind chimes and they are lanterns. they are stars and they are illuminating. they are candles burning. the lantern cant dim. the candle cant burn out. it cant leave me in the dark. what will i have to guide me through the darkness? what will i have to brighten my days?

you're laying in bed thinking twice about your life