These are the days where I am living on the rim of my throat.

I love to watch the sun drown the ocean

like cosmic spills from my mouth

of wild Indian oranges, It reminds me of when

I was four and I accidentally fell into the ocean

while the sun was eating it and i wish so badly to

understand the anatomy of your voice in the language

of the starry sea where the moon is swimming

because no one is watching. And I know that while

every time I undress your breath on my naked flesh

for the sake of my insanity you feign for the release

of blood like the day when that old man took me by my hand

and told me that I have an ancient cathedral carved

into my collarbones; how flattered I was, but you wished

that it came out of your veins instead of a complete stranger.

(I secretly wished the same)

I lay on the Persian rug while I devour the sun

to be enough for you because you said that you love me in colors.

You sow the pits of my womb with the force of vicious winter flowers.

My chest sinking as I rest a smile on your spine;

Extractions of wrists,

bruised plum lips,

this love is a creature divine.

I know that I am crazy and that I am susceptible to the evil eye

because every two years or so I would lose my hair brush

and the fortune teller would know why.

We became a part of the cult of cosmos,

we tore open suns and wore them behind ears like flowers.

You see I would dip my tongue in black holes to

taste the reverse of time on the lining between your legs

just to tell you what you were like before you were alive.

And I crashed into your limbs while you became my burial grounds

as you expected me to collapse like cascading stars from dead heavens.

Do you know how painful it is when you swim through my wrists?

I could look at you with dangerous eyes and still kiss your mouth pushing

rivers down your throat with my tongue and you would ask for the

Mediterranean sea.

I can still feel last afternoon on the back of my neck

the way you caught the last drop of rain and placed it

on my brow and swore with your hands like a little boy with broken

cigarettes that the more I wrote about love the more you wanted to die.

And how the sound of an opening flower is found between the winds of

an opening wound.

He stuck out his wrists and howled,

“My veins are at a boil and I do not know how to love you the way you love your words”  

I could tell he was ready for battle.

You declared war on my skin,

and I surrendered.

be patient, for hell knows i am not.
- let me have my freedom. i am a wild, flowering vine, do not trim me to fit into your garden.
- when you kiss me do it gratefully. be grateful that i will share my fire with you, and not burn you down to ashes instead.
- bite my lips, and do not be afraid to dare. jump into the unknowing with me.
i like surprises.
- get drunk with me. drink whiskey in wine glasses, get drunk with me and write on my body in a pen, covering me with your drunken scrawl. let me show you parts of myself that have never been kissed by the sun.
- hold onto my waist with strong hands, do not be afraid to put your fingers on my skin. do it, and do it surely. do not touch me lightly, do it with a purpose. be strong, yet be fragile. i am not delicate, yet handle me with care.
- kiss my neck, graze your lips all over my body. let me feel you like rain on my body, a steady thrum.
- do not for a second have the impression that you are ever using me. you are a silly boy and i am a dreaming girl, who walks fast, who has a whole world in her mind. believe me, you will know if you are ever even a tiny portion of it.
i'll probably just end up using you.
i know what i want.
and do not assume that you are always it.
- speak to me like your words are roses, that graze my skin under soft cotton sheets. do not hold anything back, say everything that can possibly fit in your mouth, and do not be surprised if i leave you when petals become thorns.
- i am not attached to you.
i have a whole life ahead of me, and i want to experience every moment of it, living so thoroughly that i will not miss even a second.
i want to see the world, walk barefoot in the most remote places, i want to love and much as i can.
i want to kiss strangers, i want to make love in France with a beret on, i want to drink coffee in the shower, and i want to listen to vinyl late into the night, dancing with the music pulling me to and fro, that is enough.
i do not need you there to step on my feet.
- if you want to enchant me, do not speak unsure or shyly, move as if your fingernails could cause hurricane, and hold me in your arms like i am a storm just waiting to rain down its fury.
kiss me like i am a volcano, at any moment ready to erupt. however do not be cautious of this fact.
be ready to throw yourself in.
- speak french to me.
- even though it is dangerous to be attached to me (like driving a car over a cliff, to end up barely alive sinking into the restless ocean, actually), you must treat me with the utmost respect.
i will not always be happy and kind, but i will kiss you often, and i'll like touching you, and i'll like your bare, raw skin, bleeding on the pages of your journal in the late dusk of the oncoming night.
however if you think that i am your plaything, that you are using me, that i am a flimsy, easy girl, then you are deathly mistaken, prey only to your childish ignorance.
i am the universe.
i am so vast, you will never know even half of me.
i am an elaborate piece of art.
you are only a part of this journey i call my life.
- i will love you, but only if you understand that i am an endless book of poetry,
a whole bottle of wine,
a masterpiece made of golden flesh, blood of fire,
and each of my bones are engraved with stories to tell,
and i crave this life more than i will ever crave any dependency on people who i know can never
give me exactly what i want.
because i am incredibly brilliant and endless, and i hold every word to
pleasure you,
and destroy you,
on my mere tongue.

I love the way I fool you
into thinking I'd actually let you for one moment
step inside my bathtub while I was in the shower.
But even more than that,
I love the way I think of you
if you actually did come into my shower.
How lovely your wet skin would feel against mine.
How I'd like so very much to shampoo your curly hair.
How I'd like to tell you you're beautiful,
and how I'd kiss you quickly when you'd deny it.
How your kiss would feel against my neck
as little droplets poured down my skin like rain.
How your tongue would feel inside my mouth,
a steamy embrace that would taste just a little
bit like Dove soap and mint toothpaste.
How your fingers would feel entangling in my hair,
or how your chest would feel against my breast.
How the sound of the pressure hitting the curtain
would only stimulate the chemical reaction
happening in the limited space we allowed between our two bodies.
How we'd mold into one.
How much time we'd waste arguing about my singing,
even though deep down I agreed I was awful.
I just like to argue with you.
How I'd hypnotize you with my kiss to get you to comb my hair,
to rinse the conditioner out of it.
How slippery my fingers would be trying to trace your lips,
with you trying your best not to smile.
How many times you'd fail at trying to blow bubbles
with a bit of soap between your palms.
Or how many times I'd catch you staring at me
while you were getting lost in the sound of my laugh.
How when we saw the foggy mirrors you'd draw silly faces
while I drew baby hearts.
How you'd tell me I was stupid for believing in those fantasies,
and I'd just  laugh because I know bottomless inside you believe it in.
You believe in love.
You believe in our love.
You believe in loving me.
How when we were finished you'd try to sneak into my towel,
and I'd run away secretly begging you to catch me.
I'd run straight into the bedroom, taking a retreat up to the headboard,
and how you'd crawl up after me.
How instantly you'd wrap your arms around me, still naked
your wet lips breathing right into mine.
How my soaked hair would feel against your skin,
how it would chill you, and I'd smooth down the goose bumps like a game
Like a game I only play with you.
How it would only be you.
How I only ever want it to be you.