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r l Mar 2013
Goodbye Great-Grandma
I will see you soon enough
And we could have dessert
A haiku for my GG(great-grandmother) whenever I saw her,we would always have dessert...always. So I wanted to include that in a poem. Sorry this *****,I just wanted to write something. So,yeah...
r l Mar 2015
it's almost been a year

almost a year since I left my friends, my family, everything
almost a year since the first time I saw my dad cry
(it was when he dropped me off and said goodbye. I stood there cold like marble and didn't say a word)
almost a year since i stopped going to the gym, drinking gross things and supplements to try and rid myself of guilt, hiding everything, and so many other things to try and make myself less and less and less until I disappeared
almost a year since my life became an open book and i was no longer the main author

it's been almost a year since everything and from it I've barely gained anything except almost twice my age in pounds and some friendships that didn't last
ok super personal but this is a personal account sooooooooo **** it
r l Nov 2012
Chaos from my mind moves to my skin
This time,red drops falling instead of tears
The cold blade dances across my wrists
Leaving long, raised pink bumps
Reminding me of me strengths
And weaknesses
Soon they will be just white scars
More red lines and bumps will take their place
Marking my body like tattoos
Like battle scars from the war in my mind
My mind remains blurred
The cutting doesn't help
But only numbs the pain
Some ask "Why cut?"
I  say "Why live
everyday a struggle
another day
another scar"
sorry its not that good,its my first poem   :/
r l Nov 2013
I have a feeling I won't be sleeping tonight

Sleeping means dreaming
And dreaming means remembering

You never realize how much you miss someone until you remember

Dreams bring memories of all the times we had
And sometimes, dreams even have the audacity to taunt me with the profound idea that I could be actually with you someday 
They make it seem so real, so easy, so within reach

As if. 

Dreams are temporary, they're nothing but lies
Illusions of a better life

Waking from dreams is inevitable
And waking means remembering
That I don't have you 

I need to stop chasing dreams that are so far out of reach
Ahh, stereotypical teenage love poems. Part 2 of 'poems-i-wrote-last-year-but-forgot-to-post-and-just-found.' Oops. I'll probably edit it later so it'll actually make some sort of sense
r l Dec 2013
Sometimes I forget
How to love everybody,
Everyone but you
More of a draft. I don't even know
r l Nov 2013
I was told that that average heart is about the size of the owner's fist

So I would grab handfuls of dirt
And grass
And sand

But it would all slip through my fingers, and I was worried that people were the same 

The more I tried to hold on,
The  tighter my grip,
The more I reached out to them 
The more they slipped away

I thought that changed when I met you

I reached out to you, and you didn't slip away 

I could grab your hand, feel your fingers with mine, and you would hold it right back 

When I held your hand, I could almost feel my heart swell as if it doubled its size

But there were other things I held on to,
Not plausible or visible things

Things like the sound of your laugh and the sound of your voice,
Your real smile that came out rarely, which just made it even more beautiful when it appeared 

But you slipped out of my grasp
She took your hand from mine, and she ran with it
And you went with her

What did I do to make you slip away?

How did I let you slip away?
Part 1 of 'poems-I-wrote-last-year-but-forgot-to-post-and-just-found'
r l Sep 2013
I drew a picture
It was in blue crayon
It had my mom,brother,dad,uncles,aunts,and cousins
It looked like scribbles,not people at all
My mom taped it to her wall
Next to her side of the bed she shared with dad
She wrote the date i drew it so she could remember

I drew another picture
It was of the beach
My mom,dad,brother, and I were in it
There were birds that looked like 'M's
And umbrellas that looked like rainbow colored mushrooms
My mom hung it next to my older drawing
But didn't write the date

I drew a different picture
It was of a dog,I wanted a dog
My mom said we're never getting a dog
My dad said he wanted one
They fought for 1/2 hour
I gave my mom the picture the next day
She put it on her wall next to the side of the bed she never slept in anymore

I drew another picture
It was of my parents before they fought every day
I went into the living room show it to them
My mom was at the computer crying
My dad was yelling
Telling her she raised us wrong
I listened in,hiding behind the couch 
The yelling and crying got worse
I left and put the drawing in a drawer in my room

I drew a different drawing
It was of my favorite singer
He had a microphone and a guitar
My dad was outside smoking
I thought he had quit for good this time
I went to show my mom
She was texting
She looked up from her phone
She looked at the drawing
Said "that's great"
Then handed it back without looking at me and continued texting
I put it in the drawer with the other drawings 

I drew a picture of my family
My mom,dad,and brother 
Without me,the way it should be
I put it in my drawer and wrote the date
So I could remember
This is the poem that won me first place in my city's middle school poetry contest :)  I had to delete it a few times,but I can keep it up now
r l Feb 2013
I hope you can be happy now
I hope you see your husband you haven't seen in years
I hope you see your friends who have gone before you
I hope you go to heaven,if there is such a place
I hope you can still sit by the ocean like you used to do so often
I hope you can see your mother and father,you've waited so long to return to them
I hope you are not in pain anymore
I hope you don't forget any of your memories
I hope you don't forget me
I hope you are at peace
For my Great-Grandmother. Sorry it's short,I just don't really know what else to write.
r l May 2013
Are minds supposed to race so much at 10:30 pm?
Every sound
Igniting more anger and uncomfort
But silence doesn't make it better
Nothing does

Maybe if I were smarter
I wouldn't be so confused
Stuck doing 15 papers at 10 pm
Every question
Or sentence in a book
Making me more confused and infuriated

My stomach churning with anxiety
My head aching
My face wet with tears of defeat

Don't open that box
You've been clean for so long
And I didn't
I didn't open the box
And didn't grab the farmiliar blade within it
I know I couldn't stop once I did
So I didn't
It's not easy
But I'm trying
I promise
So I don't even know what this is. This barely makes sense,but whatever. I think I just had/am having an end-of-the-school-year-crisis,with the piles of homework and everything. I even had the whole mental-breakdown-crying-emotional part,too. I'm okay now,I hope,I just wanted to write something,since I hadn't in a while.
r l Jun 2014
I can't make you love me,
I want you to love me because you love me
Not just because I love you 

But unrequited love is the only love I've ever known

And I've sorta given up on the idea, 
on the chance of having anything else
Stereotypical teenage poem. I don't even know. Suggestions? :)
r l Feb 2013
An old memory came flooding back

Conversations and events replaying in my head
Loud, overlapping memories and thoughts

Being called a ****
A *****
Time after time
By those I was closest to
When i was too young to know what they even meant

Friends ignoring me
Left me
Talked about me

Having to lie everyday about what happened
Hated by the entire grade

It haunted me for years
Even now

Took me years to gain my friends back
Just to have them abandon me again

Took me years to trust again
Just to have it broken

Seeing people-my past tormentors
Walking the hallways
Completely unchanged by what they did

It's amazing how some people forget about something
While others will remember it forever

People change
But sometimes, I wish they didn't.
Sorry, it's horrible. I just had this weird flashback from 1st grade and wanted to get my emotions out. I might delete it later,I don't know.  so, yeah.
r l May 2013
It's funny
They say that mirrors reflect you
But do they really?

Mirrors don't show how nice you are
Or how caring 
Or trustworthy 
Or how understanding 

They don't reflect your favorite songs
Or movies or books or tv shows

They don't reflect your hopes 
Your dreams
Your aspirations 

They don't reflect the things that make you

Instead,all they show are mere flaws

Mirrors show the 'too-fat' you
Or the 'too-ugly' you
Or the 'not-good-enough' you
Instead of the real you
Which can't be seen

I understand why people don't like their reflections 
It shows what they think are flaws
Instead of who they really are 

So maybe,
If mirrors reflected personalities
Instead of looks,
Fewer people would hate their reflections
This is more of a draft,I guess. I don't know if I should work on it more or just be done,I don't know. It's kind of ironic or hypocritical  on my part,I guess. Written in 5 minutes;probably *****. I'm trying to write more,but I have no ideas :/
r l Feb 2013
The girl with "the name like a song"
Now has scars 
Feels so alone
Felt the need to change even though she is beyond beautiful 

The girl with the giggles
Can barely sleep anymore
Everyone she loves slips out of her grasp
My gorgeous friend 
Never feels pretty anymore
Though she is perfect to me

The girl with the 'asian eyes' ;)
Tall,skinny,beautiful hair
Yet scars on her arms 
I can't understand how someone so amazing
Can feel so alone and mistreated

The girl with the contagious laugh
Never seems sad
Always laughing so hard
But she's so sad on the inside
But she is so incredible

The girl with the "hospital swag" ;)
Never seen not laughing and smiling
But she's slowly slipping away
Not able to see how important she is

They all are so beautiful,so unique
They just can't see it
I wish there was I way I could show them
Make them see how important they really are
Gorgeous people treated so wrong
In my eyes,they are the most extraordinary people 
And I hope they can see that
Sorry,this *****. A lot. I'm sorry if I put in false information. And sorry if I forgot anyone. If just wanted to write something to my friends who are very important to me. I hope they can understand  which part is for them. If any of you want me to take this down,I will
r l Nov 2013
Sometimes I wish I could be like a shooting star

I wish I could be something people wish upon, hope upon,
hope for

Gone in a moment, but people talk about far after they're gone

Burning with rage, but people still think they're beautiful

Burning and self destructing and spiraling out of control
But still beautiful 

I wish.
More of a draft. I don't even know
r l Nov 2013
They say ugly ducklings
Grow up to be swans
Well, I've waited long enough

But I'm still an ugly duckling
Nothing special
Nothing magnificent
Not graceful
Or elegant
Or beautiful

I'm just an ugly duckling
Waiting for their white wings
Another draft
r l Aug 2013
Poor little girl
She just liked to tell stories
But no one would listen to her story

So she wrote it all over her arms and legs

Funny how people started listening
I don't even know about the title,I'm too lazy to come up with another. I'm not sure if this or something like this has been done before,if it has...oops. It's not the best,I may work on it more,maybe later,I'm not sure
r l Jun 2015
i pulled off layers of myself
skin, muscle, fat
until white luminescence shone through, poking out of whatever pale covering I had left
i was so sick, i was dying
i loved it

now everything's been injected back in,
and i'm filled like a sasauge casing that's too small for it's contents, about to burst at the seams.
stretch marks like lightning strike all over
only emphasizing how much i've been stretched and filled.
my thighs chafe and my legs jiggle and my stomach has too many rolls to even count at this point.
my jaw has lost it's point, smudging the space between my neck and my face.
everything is blurred and slurred now, no longer sharp and extravagant,
no longer enviable and eye catching
but hey, at least i'm not dying
*and I hate it
so i feel like **** again wooohooooooo
r l Feb 2014
It's been a year now
A year of being reminded of you

Thinking of you whenever I see the ocean
Or see my mom making the same meal you would always make us
Or see my grandmother. She has your eyes
And your smile, even though that's impossible to replicate
I think of you when I see an automatic reclining chair like the one my brother and I would fight over at your house
And when I see Judge Judy on TV
Or, especially, when I see deserts. Any kind rinds me of you now

Just know you aren't forgotten
I'm reminded of you every day
Meant to post this yesterday but I forgot to. Oops. This is another poem for my Great Granmother who died a year ago yesterday. Sorry it's not the best poem, I just wanted to write something
r l Dec 2012
You're like a storm
Bringing rain and destruction
Then leaving after you're done
Looking back at all the chaos you've caused
You tricked me into thinking you cared
Until you found out how I felt
And you left
Like it was no big deal
You ignored me
Ruined me
You stopped talking to me and started talking about me
I loved you 
Now I  hate you
I was so stupid to think that you would ever be mine
I felt so dumb that i couldn't get you out of my mind
 You fooled me
Abandoned me
I still loved you
I missed you,even though you were never mine
You hurt me, left scars
But time heals all wounds
I've gotten over you,but not the things you've done
And I don't think I ever will
Sorry,wrote this quickly so it's not the best. :/

— The End —