My right ear has triple tinnitus.
It's true. I kid you not.
First there is the deep, low mourn of a foghorn,
with a louder high pitched ring above.
But stuck somewhere in between
is a beautifully sad Charlie Parker saxophone number.
It's soft notes range frome mid to low and drown
the foghorn and annoying ring while carrying
me away to dream.   My own nightly internal
Charlie Parker radio.

r ~  23Jan14

Before your eyes fill
with fading,
come rest them here.
Let my shoulders bear
your burden;
let me absorb your tears.
Give this day a rest;
your wounded heart
is weary.
Close your tired eyes;
you've done your best.
Close your tired eyes,
and let me do the rest.

r ~ 5/16/14

In my truck
just starting to work
and the man on the radio says

It's 11 minutes before six
on this early Toosdy morning.
You're listening to NPR...

Ahh, fuuuuck says I to my truck,
it's too early for this ****,
another Toosdy staff meeting
and here I am in an ironed shirt
(wearing my RESIST t beneath).

What the hell, everyday is the same,
trains roll on, tracks never end
and tomorrow, Toosdy will be gone
with the wind.

To ocean's roar--the sea oats dance
To music of--nor'easter's glance
Holding fast on--windswept seashore
Lending hand to--rippled dunes' chore

Paniculata's--feathered lance
Leaves not the sand--to nature's chance
To leave in dunes--an open door
To ocean's roar

Sea oats seeking--perfect balance
Barren beach and--storm's dalliance
Shorebirds nesting--while sea gulls soar
Still ocean tries--and shouts for more
Sea oats bending--yet still they dance
To ocean's roar

r ~ 9Mar14

South of the Great Salt Lake
In the Valley of the Skull
Living was make or break
And the days were always full

We walked the desert dunes
In the land of the Goshute
We slept beneath the moon
Drank water from desert roots

Living on borrowed time
Waiting for the sun to rise
Youth was our only crime
Happiness was our disguise

Tooele County days
Counting days till we deploy
Striking camp in a haze
Shoulder arms and **** the joy

r ~ 23Jan14

Someone I once knew

and cared for long ago

took the slow ****** train home


a friend arrived alive

home from Iraq

broken, full of static


my father's trail

of caring drew the pancreatic

hound from hell


sadly, but

for the life of me,

I can’t load all that ****


into a broken boat

to shove away

out onto a moonlit sea.

No trains in this town
Not the passenger kind, anyhow
Unless you are a hobo
Riding the rail
Singing clickety-clack, clickety-clack
Dreaming of a girl
A pint of Beam
A lost dog named Woof
wearing a red bandana
Warm nights
Sunshine
Sweet Georgia.

r ~ 5/25/14

Travelin’ man, giver of song
Wherever you are off to
Don't make it too long
A whisper of your shadow
A glimpse of your song
Tomorrow is new, yesterday gone

Darkness is upon you
Like a forgotten song
Lost in black water without view
World is awaiting on your dawn
Fear stands close, thin is spread thin
Travelin’ man, travelin’ song
Travelin’ man, come back strong

Some nights you still
cast your shadow like
dice, always coming up
snake eyes, and I dream
I am watching you stare
at the camp fire, the moon
parting your hair, high
in the mountains growing
silent and thirsty not saying
a word until a bird comes
from nowhere, and lighting  
on your wrist to drink from
your palm while you stroked
its throat; I could have sworn
your finger was on a trigger.

Hey, Leon
Let's go outside and play\
No, Ramon
It's too cold outside
We'll freeze\
Don't worry, Leon
I've got my ice pick!
:)

r  7Jan14

Night I call you
portal of silence

the true divided light
of the moon through
my window leaving

shadows like crosses
of time, that old bandit

on my wall, the panes
stained, broken and sharp.

Yes, tell us
of your Trump love,
your tough love;
shout it from the rooftops
while encouraging ******
in a mosque.

Tell us how poetic you are,
you the rearguard
of fascist *******
as worshippers are showered
with bullets from above.

You want to talk about cowards,
or standing with the Sioux
at Standing Rock?

Let me hear your hypocrisy
little miss sunshine,
just one more time.

And you, the defenders
of ignorance,
can kiss my po ***
along with the *******
wannabe poets
who hate the truth
when it shines.

We can dream...




"Donald J. TrumpVerified account
‏@realDonaldTrump
China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters - rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act."

* Emphasis mine.  Trump's misspelling: all his, baby.

*un·prec·e·dent·ed

ˌənˈpresədən(t)əd/
adjective
never done or known before.
"the government took the unprecedented step of releasing confidential correspondence"
synonyms: unheard of, unknown, new, novel, groundbreaking, revolutionary, pioneering, epoch-making;

Before HP when trying to fall asleep
I imagined a blank white wall
It worked for me fairly quickly before HP
Then scrabbled letters started appearing
Keeping my brain from sleep
Now I try to envision a black chalk board
But the squeaking of the writing
Keeps me awake in dark
Eyes squeezed tight
Thanks HP

Twelve years ago today
The world changed for the worse

We can never be
both patriots and racists,
we were once the open arms
to the seas on both sides,
to the oceans of grasses
and deserts between,
we were once home
to the huddled masses
having no need for castle
walls and moats built
to segregate the freedom
we forget doesn't belong
only to us because we are
more than the buffoonery
and blowhard *******
saturating the evening news,
it takes more than a tweet
to govern a country, we are
more than the flag we hold
hands over hearts to honor,
more than the Trumpets
and twilights last gleaming,
we are the space seekers,
the star dusted travelers
brave enough to strap
ourselves to rocket fuel
and hope, we were the first
to help, we are more, and
it is time we were it again.

two moons, but still
the night is dark-
wild dogs bark at a sky
that I don't understand

there's a tent revival
down by the river-
preacher duane says the light
from the reflection
will be good for the soul

I don't want to go, momma
I don't want to go

two moons are confusing
though the sound is soothing
as it shines through my radio

wild dogs are barking-
my head is swimming-
at the river they're gathering-
and the people are singing-
and the preacher is praying-
and the light is reflecting-

I don't want to go, momma
I don't want to go

I see two moons,
momma...

two moons.

r ~ 8/27/14

Four patties of ******* he wears
Two upon each shoulder wing
Polished gleaming egocentric air
Marching like a king
His Chief of Staff
And parade of sycophants
Make me want to laugh
All aligned like **** ants
Until their buckets of *******
Are sloshed upon my desk
Right or wrong just do it
Another *******-filled day

He stuck two sticks in the mud
Forked like a moccasins's tongue
To hold both poles while we smoked
Camels we stole from the coal
Truck man and drank homemade
Wine swapped for a knife and a dollar
To the drunk up the holler and a can
Of sweet corn ten years old still dusty
And rusted but the trout hit it hard
Anyway like slow flies on a slow
Golden Saturday a long time ago.

Paul,
   Paul
you plucked those two strings
and **** near took
me to my knees.
Knocked the breath
right out of me.

r ~ 5/9/14

The Black Guitar

Clearing out ten years from a wardrobe
I opened its lid and saw Joe
written twice in its dust, in a child's hand,
then a squiggled seagull or two.

                                                    Joe, Joe

a man's tears are worth nothing,
but a child's name in the dust, or in the sand
of a darkening beach, that's a life's work.

I touched two strings, to hear how much
two lives can slip out of tune

                                                then I left it,
brought down the night on it, for fear, Joe
of hearing your unbroken voice, or the sea
if I played it.

The Black Guitar, Paul Henry

Another letter today
Just one more step along my way
Check that box and forget about
Whatever tomorrow brings
Even if it's only for a little while
Close my eyes and try to smile
Close my eyes
To the light.

4/3/14

this path i wrote
wrought with missed
twists and turns and trip
wires made of pit vipers
camouflaged in ******
stripes the color of bumble
bees that make me sneeze
humbly god help me please
i hear foot steps quietly
lightly on the trail behind me.

r ~ 11/15/14

In my dreams
there is a bird
and it sings
all night long
there is a fish
in a river
who's lost
it's memory
a worn work shirt
that smells strongly
of love
there is a man
and a woman
clocking out at dusk
there is someone
I can never remember
and in the Inn
of night
there's a dead man
a stranger
at the window.

It's not the rain
that makes my eyes wet.
It hasn't rained in forty days.
Nights are long and quiet.
The silence cuts to bone.

It wasn't rain that quenched the fire.
It hasn't rained in forty nights.
The well is dry... so am I.
Nights I sit in silence
while it rains.

r ~ 4/19/14

Until December
Will you remember
Will you remember me
Now September
Still a spark left in me
Stoke that spark
Spark as stark
As cold December
Keep me in your memory
Come new year
Don't know where...
Don't really care
Where I will be
Chasing embers
Once remembered
I'll remember
The spark
That stokes my ember
Come December

r  17Sept13

Black sand morning sky~
   Scorpion strikes from the south
   Orion hides now

r ~ 13Mar14

Instead of a card
I carved you a pome
on my heart.

It didn't hurt too much
until I sewed myself up.

You see, I know
you'll never see
the words I bleed.

I’m making a boat
nailing driftwood together
maybe I’ll make it across
and maybe I won’t, you know
because nothing floats forever
still, it’s good wood to toss
on a pyre when I’m standing
by a fire over on Odin’s
Valhalla’s Landing.

I gave my hand twice
on the battlefield of love

Now let me ask you

how's a veteran pick up
the pieces with both
sleeves pinned-up

and why the hell does
a blind man need a crutch?

Looking out my Mother's back door window
Green pasture shining in wet dew
Forest of the Cherokee National
Surrounding my emerald view

Mom and brother still sleeping soundly
A little quiet time to enjoy and remember
Red Tailed Hawk circling sky roundly
Dad's century old barn with leaning oak timber

Dreaming of my future small cabin
Back in the corner of the high pasture
A picture of morning's shiny green satin
The view out Mom's window I capture

r

i saw the movie, once
- a sad one

this time i am hoping
things will be different -

good, friends
should be allowed
to be friends -

Viva Cuba.

r ~ 12/18/14

I'm going to pour me a drink
and wait for the Dark Night
to lace his boots

That old bushwhacker has 7 wives
2 trucks with good tires
1 with a flatbed for hauling

In the morning I know
I'll find crumbs on my table
and mud on the floor

And that pint by my bed
that's mostly full right now
will be a big swig short

Nothing is going right
these days except that low-
down you know who I mean
and he's moving right fast.

The young receptionist
suddenly crossed her legs
behind the window
of the waiting room of my love,
smacked her gum
and said promise not to leave,
always come back if you do,
even if we give you bad news
for the rest of your life.

Somedays this whole
that I don't feel
is like a hole
that needs filling.
An empty space
that won't let go.
Another place I find
myself in that's growing old.
But that's the highway
talking, because
if I was a walking
man I would have gone
home a long time ago.

'Was built a wall of loneliness
The blocks were made of hopelessness
No door, no gate, no openings
A moat within the inner ring
The sides sloped down to emptiness

'Was kept away the happiness
With salty tears so copious
The songbirds cried and took to wing
'Was built a wall of loneliness

The sky lay down in weariness
Grey clouds did tire of dreariness
So steep the walls no vine could cling
So cold the wall kept out the spring
All hearts cried out in brokenness
'Was built a wall of loneliness.

r ~ 26Mar14

I waited all day
to hang out
on the waning
crescent moon
but a storm came
in from the north
so we sat  on
the front porch
it’s just a phase
we all go through
my dog said
and oh how we
howled at the rain.

new light comes early -
low and uncertain
- cold and unsurely

slowly

winter is waning -
fading her darkness
away

- begins a new day.

You were everything I wanted
And nothing that I need

r  14 Mar 13

A wisp of gray cloud slips by
like a passing doubt.

A fleeting black thought flies
with the shadow of a wasp.

An unfelt feeling of cold fear
seeks warmth through window light.

Striped feral cat creeps too near,
sees red-tailed hawk in flight.

Time spent with toes in sand,
washed by water clear and cold.

Empty thoughts to understand,
one wave comes, another one goes.

r ~ 4/11/14

Peering through a wasp's wing
at shadows on the wall
Hear the whispered whimper
echo down the hall
Glass thump of bone and feathers
against the bedroom window
Motes of darkness floating
to air a moldy winnow
Creak of standing knees
rise in opioid haze
To wander past the shadows
and sniff of death's bouquets.

r ~ 6/11/14

In so many words
it comes down to this
time wasted, spent
a million regrets
and not one red cent
of it worth a ****.

As water is to cleansing rain
and heat as to burning flame,
so are you to me; the same.
My fiery rain.

Fill the gutter of my mind.
Fire the coal your heart has mined.
Burn me to the end of time.
Your fire does reign.

r ~ 4/1/14

I close my eyes
Try to sleep
I see a wave of ink
A cloud of black
In water
No rhyme
No poem or verse
I'm going blind
I need a nurse
******* like cumuli
Hips as wide as a nautical mile
To get me back to sea
To help me see
To make me smile.

r ~ 5/26/14

As we lie dying
the little death,
pull me close
beneath your chin
and hold me tight.
Breathe me in,
feel my heat,
wear me warm
like a well worn blanket.
I will weave you a dream
of dyed wool, desert moons
and a Paiute wind.
I'll dream us through
this long night.
Wrap yourself in me
and rest easy.
Breathe me in,
sleep in me, wear me
like you need to.
And when you awake
I'll still be here
like the desert moon
in a Paiute wind.

r 7/15/14

There's something about
that new weatherlady

in her form-fitting dress
not too short or so long

she's got that Kardashian
thang going on

******* like cumuli

waiting on a strong
Southern breeze
to stir up a warm front.

:)