Thinking of how people used me and betrayed me but the worse double cross is from family your own blood choosing bad habits and lieing to those who live them.
My cousin is a drug addict his habits have made him become someone I thought I knew. He's always scratching never sleeps he's burned so many people and stole I never thought he'd cross that line with me.
It sickens me to know others see drugs more important than family. It hit me deep struck a nerve to know I can't do anything he has to want to change I'm not forcing it.
I don't want to give up but I'll stay away because I don't want to get hurt again or know if I can ever trust.
This kid was suppose to go to the navy but he's out doing drugs wasting time its not my life but its hard to watch.

Don't let me be
acquaintance ancestry.
Celestial bodies deny me peace,
hidden behind moonlight white sheets and
skyscraper evidence markers.
But I, advice malnourished, recede
among the intangible tangents
of lesser-used thoughts.
I let the shadows take me because
maybe they should have a long time ago
and I was too scared to let them out of my veins,
let the crack from my neck
leak the demons and my trust.
Don't let me be
predisposed possibility,
never so whole as seraphs and satanists,
guided by singularity.
My lives were revolutions,
made up of weaker constitutions
encapsulated, a prescription purpose
that guides me past milligram monument men
braver than I was, but already marble ghosts.
Let me be the helpful dream,
the stitcher of seams;
it seems the tie is torn too much,
the threads thrown astray like things lost in space,
too tangled to discern the strongest way to
reinforce the conclusion of my weakness.
Let me be the used-to-be,
the once-was boy who could never see.
Blindness is a condition I accept willingly,
and deafness with it, and warmth's retreat.
Let me be cold, forgotten gold
buried beneath a tombstone treasure map.
Let me go.

Take every one you find,
you data mine from minds
excised, exercised, exorcised
from details emphasized
and breathed here between
pretentious pixels and
the utter necessity to
write the worthwhile,
transcribe tomorrows into thoughts
louder than action.
Sentence sentences that lied on the stand,
judgmental Judas crucified on land
and two by his side in the sea.
Read the series bible, the rough sketches
of predetermined lives written in fibers
thatched into cardboard,
folded into boxes, stored and shipped
into some great beyond
(Maybe the back of it is nicer).

My lips are dry from the amount of times I've bitten them
Trying to stop myself smiling every time I saw your face
You're the ray of sunshine reflecting a windows ledge
The million dollar diamond prize, the greatest race

And so the girl
Who only ever needed a friend
And a shoulder to cry on
Was left
And abandoned
Because she pushed them all
Away.