It opens,
rising pink.
A rink on which to glide,
I slide
into the day

he looks at me
with those slate grey eyes.
he mocks at me
with that snarl tooth lisped grin.

he looks at me and his lips dont move,
but his eyes speak with mountains.

they say she slipped through my fingers
like water through the rocks in the river.
they say the longer i ran to keep her,
the further she ran to me.
they say the more you tried to save her,
the tighter your fingers bruised her pale skin
and gripped her throat
until her lungs were almost dead.

they said she did it voluntarily.
i know better.

you did not release your grip even when i let go.

I could kiss you
                            and
touch you
                  and
love you
                for my life time
and more.

Something about you
                                      brings my body
to life
           and my brain
flickering fast
                         and
my heart
                beating like crazy.

Love is quite complicated
                                              but it seems as if
we fall gracefully on top of
                                                each other
as if we were the
                              m  iss     ing       pi       ece
to the puzzle that is
                                    human souls.

A springy thingy though I be
a thing in spring I'd like to be
this thought I think springs out of me
as I spring into Spring.

i have lost feeling on the bottom of my right foot.
i stepped on a broken something
and its sharp edge cut my nerves.
it is one of many.

“I don’t want to think of you like this,
but the nights are when my thoughts attack me the most.

I know you’re not okay
& it ⁢kills me that I can’t help you because you won’t let me.

It kills me that I have to watch you get worse
even though we’re miles apart.

When all I want to do is save you, but I can't.

It kills me that with every attempt I try,
&mak;; to help get through to you is blocked out,
Because I just can't be there physically...anymore,
To squeeze your hand and remind you I care,
To wipe your tears and silently speak through our comfortable stares.
To hug you tight, and ease your fears.

It kills me.*

It kills me because I know you try,
to barricade and hide,
the pain.

Through shutting me out and focusing on other things to lessen the blow at first ...only to make it worse later.

It kills me that no one we know would believe me if I tried to tell them what you don’t want them to know, because if you did, at least one person would check on you constantly for me.

It kills me that I can’t name one person I could count on to do that for me.

It kills me that I have to spill my heart out in these poems just to get my point across.

It kills me that I can feel all of your pain on top of mine since you’re my other half and we’ll always be inter-connected, entwined, like a braided rope...whether we like it or not.

It kills me to think of what you’d do the day you finally decide you can’t take it anymore and take drastic measures over something that had a solution.

It kills me that everybody would blame me, screaming
“why didn’t you try harder?!”  
While I collapse and crumble,
down to my knees,
sobbing.

Then some even dare to shoot their accusations in a different way,
their sickly sweet smiles curve at their lips as they mouth the words
'it wasn't really your fault'

My cries of apologizes become a silent distant mumble.
My mind numb.

They don't hear me anymore, I'm as lost as she is now gone.
They have failed to hear the cry of the shattered ones,
echo from within me....
“You don’t understand how much I tried. How much she *tried.”