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052420

Ikaw --
Ang tula sa'king gabi,
Ang tulang 'di isantatabi.
052120

Ito ang gabing
Ako mismo ang sisira sa pangako ko —
Sa pangako kong ililibing ko ang sandaling
Mistulang nabihag ang buo kong pagkatao
Natapos ang mga petsang hindi ko na mabilang pa.

Panaginip —
Ika-11 ng gabi, naggising akong muli
Nasilayan kita
Nasilayan ko syang humahakbang papalapit sayo
Natakot ako, siguro nga
Wala naman kasing nagbago.

Natatakot pa rin akong hindi tayo magtagpo
Sa aking paghihintay sayo.
Ni hindi ko maitali ang sarili sa pagsambit ko ng “oo.”
Siguro nga, nag-aabang pa rin ako gaya ng dati —
Siguro nga isa na lamang akong
Gamu-gamong alaala ng kahapon
Na sa paupos na kandila’y
Tuluyan na ring maglalaho.
050220

Nagbibilang ako ng mga pahinang
Ni minsa’y hindi ko binura
Ni minsan, hindi ko binasura.
Hinuhulma ko pa rin ang aking mga kamay sa buwan
Na sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya’y
Sumasagi sa’king isip ang unang tulang
Binigkas ko sayo nang biglaan.

At habang pinagmamasdan ko ang aking mga palad,
Ay kumukunot maging ang aking mga kilay
Kasabay ng kumot sa gabi sa bawat paghikbi.
Hinulma pa rin ba ang mga palad para sa isa’t isa?
O ang minsang nagpahinga’y
Bawal na rin bang bumalik para magsimulang muli?

Nauutal ako —
Sa tuwing sinisigaw ko saking isip ang pangalan mo
Ang bawat letrang dahan-dahan kong sinusulat
Sa aking alaala, saksi ang pintig ng pusong may pangamba.

Nasisilaw ako —
Na sa bawat pagpikit ko’y
Tila suntok ka sa buwan kung makakamtan muli.
Nasisilaw ako —
Sa tuwing hinihiling kong pagbuksan
Ang puso **** kinakatok at niluluhod sa panalangin.
05022020

I was standing in the middle of worship
People were worshipping God
And everyone was singing.
There’re pairs but they don’t have any relationship
One sings beside the other, one sings alone.

There were two different hymns
Or everyone was just voicing their hearts out
I ain’t a singer and yet I heard my voice good.
And together with others,
The first song I was singing was a heavy song
I was about to kneel,
I was bowing my head.

And there I recognized that many songs are being sung.
I heard someone said from the back,
“Kelan ba papalitan yung kanta?”
I recognized what has been said
But I can't control the words coming from my mouth,
And from the bottom of my heart,
It just felt so natural --
It felt so relieving.

Both of my hands started grasping a railing
As I continued in the spirit of worship.
And then the song changed to an upbeat one
And then to “Hosanna.”

While everyone was singing “Hosanna”
Someone has changed in the atmosphere.
I saw my body gliding and others too
People started coming while I was singing with others.

Some remained walking towards us --
Seeing but they’re only looking at us
But I never heard and seen anyone of them singing.
I was even shocked with myself
Because I was dancing like I was a good dancer
Those who sing also do their dancing
As if we were leading everyone else
But it seems they have another place to go with.

I recognized that they were walking
While I was flying with others.
Then I saw a man who’s also dancing and singing
And he was very good at it
We continued guiding those who are walking.

Then, the scene turned out to be an LRT station
But there was no means of transportation
I saw people strolling beside a platform
On my right side
And they’re somehow stuck
But I saw no reaction from them.

And there was a stair going upwards
It's like in the form of an escalator
I was holding the railing and it was steady
But the steps seemed to be invisible
All I know was: it’s a staircase.

Then I saw the man singing and dancing earlier
Telling the people to raise their hands
And they turned to look like zombies
They were obeying and copying what was instructed to them
And we were all giving them examples
As we do the “arms forward” thing.

Then I heard someone said,
“There’s something wrong,”
And he was pertaining to those people in the platform
They were about to chase a woman
And he pointed her out
And then the dream ended —
The dream ended and as I opened up my eyes,
I found my heartbeat too fast.
031620

The world needs to shout to be heard.
At first, we hear peace, contentment, success,
Joy, unity, encouragement, and love.
But all together,
It’s no longer the sound of music.

No longer about our plain existence
But of greed, power, abuse, hatred, or clamor.
But there’s always a greater Voice
Who keeps on knocking into our hearts
And that Voice needs to be heard.

In the silence of the world,
There’s a Voice that chooses to speak life —
The Voice that weighs one’s soul,
The Voice who rebukes and confronts,
And The Voice who saves and forgives.

And You are most heard...
I hear You as You whisper,
Not like the other days
When day shifts find no break.

Not when I was relieved
By doing well in life,
And not when happiness
Seems like a plunge of cola in my throat.

I hear You when I call on Your Name —
When I am on my knees shaking,
Begging for answers.

When I am rejoicing and in my excitement,
I choose to tell You first
What’s written in my heart.

I hear You as I stop crying
As I learn to surrender it all
To Your Name,
Jesus who’s ever so powerful.

I hear You more
As I wait for Your turn to speak
When I was so desperate
With my crazy but true faith in You.

I hear You more and more
And it feels like there’s a fire within me,
Like the days of Abraham in the burning bush.

And it feels like Your provision
Is already in my hands,
Like Elijah being fed by the angel
When he felt he was all alone.

It feels like having a new name
And a new beginning,
Like Jacob being Israel as You called him to be.

It feels like I am back to my confidence
That there’s nothing to harm me,
Like Daniel witnessing the lions being tamed.

It feels like I am walking into deliverance,
Like Moses and the Israelites
Walking in the parted Red Sea.

It feels like everything the enemy has stolen
Will soon be restored,
Like Job’s restoration of life.

In this pace of life,
In the first to third months,
You’ve reminded us of one thing:
That one of Your love languages
Is to whisper —
You whisper coz You’re near,
And so we’ve nothing to fear.
1 Kings 19:11-13

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

John 10:3-6

To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus used this illustration, but they did not understand the things which He spoke to them.
031320

There is no weakness in You —
Your Name is power and strength,
You are my light and confidence,
In this world that’s not tired to alter.

There is no impossible in You —
Your Name is shield and security,
I see prayers as a strong weapon
In this world full of manmade adversaries.

There is no sorrow in You —
You are the joy in my heart,
The peace who calms my soul,
In this world full of clamors and anxieties.

There is no oppression in You —
You are the voice deep within me,
That bold conviction of saying “No!
To this world full of temptations and sins.

You will be forever praised,
The throne is still Yours and we’re simply here just a glimpse,
In these borrowed golden times we don’t forget,
That it is You who keeps us alive and awaken still.
032020

One of these faded nights,
I got awakened with revelations over my pillows.
I heard something I longed to compare
With something already present.

It was actually last night,
But my eyes were still shut
So I can’t recognize if it’s a dream or not.

It’s not a sweet sound
Nor a horrific one
It’s not even as long as my breathing per second,
Not even as short as the whisper of the wind.

But to recall —
I was like, “Is this the time?”
I’ve heard it but I was not sure where it came from,
I was never sure if I truly woke up or not.

So today, it was different
But I’ve got reminded of God’s promises
That He’s coming back so soon —
So soon that one will no longer his/her name.
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