You try so hard,
And I wish it could be,
But my life's so off,
You wouldn't make it with me,

I'm too crazy,
And you're so perfect,
You'd probably hate me,
Me and my curses,

I'm so different,
I'm a little bit backwards,
So I'm keeping my distance,
No happily ever after-

Try to help everyone,
But I'm the one who's losing..

"When the sins of my father,
weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go"


you told me when i'd grow up i'd understand some day,
but ever since we went our seperate ways I could never grip why it had to be this way,
back and forth until you slammed the door and went away,
To come back for more and slap your "*****" across the face,

But somethin brought you back to your senses like it always did,
hate your life and blamed your wife but loved your kids,
you staind her mind and made her cry and punched and kicked until she layed to die with bloodshot eyes you ****** *****,

All the alcohol and drugs you did just made me sick,
only ******* hit their women,
I shoulda sprayed a clip,

Sometimes I wished you'd never come back to me cuz I saw my mama truly happy,
and I know that deep inside she loved you once,
but one punch was enough and the rest that came was just too much,
every day you showed up drunk,
it was the same old same and still she showed her love,
I guess you never could appreciate her for what she truly was,

The image of a beautiful lady bruised up is tatted in my brain,
its guys like you that give guys like me a bad name,
cuz "we're all the same" and that could never change,
but one **** up's enough,
who'd walk back to pain?

Bruises fade and scars are covered,
but emotional damage sticks with you,
I love my mother and I know you loved her too,
and what you did wasn't right to you,
but what happened, happened,
I shoulda stuck a knife in you,

She tried for you but won for us,
me and my sisters,
I love em so much and I tell you what,
if they meet a punk like you i'll rip out his tongue,

I won't forgive you for what you done,
but you're still my dad and i'm still your son-

Then I look at you as a person,
I saw through your eyes and heard you cry,
you were always hurtin,
and I don't why but i'm like that too,
I guess we're the same in a way,
maybe that's why I don't like you,

Well i'm older now and I kinda get it,
I had some time to think and I wish you didn't leave,
we left the house but you left for good,
now it hurts every time I drink,
every drug I do reminds me of you,
maybe i'm just tryna hide the pain every time I fly away,
20 year old alcoholic,
i'm in your shoes every step I take,
I even look like you for christ's sake,
its like we got the same brain,

The day you left it hit me,
and ever since it felt like somethin's missing,
but for reasons unexplained I don't wana see your face,
its not because I hate but maybe I just changed,
all that I can say is I hope that you're okay,
my bad for bein cold but my feelings complicate,
but the fact that you're only human is clouded,
all the times that you shouted and pounded your fists in her again and again,
****** me off to no end,
i'm chokin on regret of not jumpin in to bust your head,
i'd give up everything to know you're dead,
nothin's left but painful memories-


"when the sins of my father,
Weigh down in my soul,
and the pain of my mother,
will not let me go,"
i'm consumed in regret,
I shoulda stepped in,
but please forgive me mother,
I was too young-

Little lights,
Sparking more than interest in my eyes,
Little lights,
Come from somewhere I'd be scared to find,

Little lights,
Distract me from the horror in my mind,
Little lights,
Keep my eyes wide open with their shine,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Getting closer,
Intertwined,

Little lights,
Little lights,
Dwell inside,
A sinner's mind-

I have no control,
I'm just a reflection of emotions deep below,
Feed me some antipsychotics,
Free me from my mind,
Bionic-

I got the sickest of Minds,
Come equipped with the quickest depictions that sicken your eyes,
Unassisted, don't be resistin' the fight,
Trip sixes leave you ******* to die,
Rap circles around you like a serpent constrictin your life,
Drag you through the mud and the muck before I kiss you goodbye like the crucifixion of Christ,
You don't know what's livin inside or what I put into these lines,
You might wanna diss me but it's almost forbidden to try,
**** on you ******* while I'm kissin the sky,
Diss all your writtens while you listen to mine,
A misfit, I'm twisted with an addiction to rhyme,
Watch you stiffen at the sight of me hissin at night,
Silence these voices I tried but my prescription ain't right,
My lungs are collapsin like somethins kickin my sides,
I'm not twitchin, I'm flinchin,
Pay attention, there's a difference,
Somethin wants to get in and take away my decisions,
Sometimes I wonder how the **** I got in this position,
I keep talkin to God even though he don't listen,
He's prob'ly ******* from all the sins I've committed,
Unspeakable actions let the demons in, scratchin,
I keep pleadin and askin but believe I'm the baddest,
Can't seem to keep it, reactin, but receivin the static,
Creepin in the dreams of an addict that needs to be handed,
It's reachin in me and its makin me panic, I'm takin it back and,
Retracin my tracks and erasin the past and,
Replace you with ashes and take the flame back I'm,
Burnin alive while rehearsing these lines,
You can feel it churnin inside, the turnin through time,
You're cursin my life,
Feel like bursting inside-

Feed me some antipsychotics,
Free me from my mind,
Bionic,
Walkin a fine line,
But I called it,
"Its night time,"
Don't worry, I'm on it-

I can't see you there but I feel you,
I know that you're near cuz I hear you,
I say i'm not scared but I fear you,
tell me to beware and I still do,

I feel you,
slowly burning me alive,
every exhale surfaced to the skin comes from deep inside,
I can feel you swimming in my mind torching both my eyes,
drilling in a little deeper every time,
feeling it subside just to come back full force and give a rattle to my life,

electric charges running through my body,
faces all around, I can hear em calling,
being hollowed out, now I think im falling,
dropped me underground so they can see me crawling
on broken knees-

I'm the wind you feel on your skin,
The burn you're feeling within,
The hate engulfing your heart,
The pain that's making its mark,

Sparkin a flame in your brain while you sit in the dark,
Makin' its way to you, change or I'll rip you apart,

Tame it,
Quit complainin,
I'm stayin,
I'm the idea behind everything that you're sayin,

You think that you're free but you're mine,
I'm the evil inside deceiving your mind,
You keep thinking you're believing a lie,
But in time you'll see that I'll lead you to life,

Without me you'd be incomplete,
Face it, it's meant to be,
Take it, depend on me,
Everything you thought you knew,
Erase it and leave the rest to me,

Open the door to your mind and let us in,
You've been chosen to endure a new life you'll never comprehend,

So here we are,
I'm in your head,
And I'll be there until the end,

To whisper in your ear,
Grippin you with fear,
The shift in every gear,
The pain in every tear,

Your influence in movement,
Uninvited improvement,
To undermine you, intrudin',
Run inside you, confusin'-


I'm stuck in a mental loop,
Drink blood from the devil's spoon,
Breathe but need drugs to help it soothe,
Feel the need to speak up but don't know who to tell it to,

Listenin to whispers while it slithers in your thoughts,
See me pourin rivers cuz he hits you when he talks,

So here we are,
You're in my thoughts,
On and on it goes and never stops,

Blossom like a rose and birthed from death,
Crawl on burning coals, it hurts to sweat,

I'm caught in an endless fight,
Take my life in the breathless night,
Maybe I should repent this time,
Before I go completely blind,

Is it life or is it death?
Is there light in eternal rest?
All these questions feed my head,
Will I ever sleep again?

Why the **** do I need a test?
Life's just better when we pretend,
Cuz when it's not what it is,
Maybe I can deal with this ****** ****,

It hurts to think,
These are more than just words to me,
Maybe we can learn through dreams and define the true feeling of what burning means,

You make death so appealing,
But then again it depends on the feeling,
Make me believe that this place is worth it,
So that I can fulfill my painful purpose,

You can never know too much-


So what's it gonna be?
Come with me,
I'll make you what you wanna be,
But nothins free,
You'll have to pay,
Let's make a trade,
I'll make it all go away-

How the **** I got here,
I still don't know,
reasons unexplained,
just let me go,
evil, it will reign,
looking through my eyes,
never be the same,
forced inside,

you bring me close to the edge,
and I keep on pushing,
now I know it's the end,
but I'll keep on searching,

you bring me close to the edge,
I am lost within time,
screaming voice in his head,
hear them talking in mine-

Is it too late for me?
Is this the only way to be?
Cuz lately all the pain in me is making me insane,
The vacancy,

I can't stand the emptiness,
It's plain to see I may just need an excorcist,
I've dealt with this for too long,
Maybe I'm too far gone,

Too late to be saved,
I'm crazed and deranged,
Flames in my veins,
I need an escape but I was created this way,

Maybe it was destiny,
Befriended with the enemy,
I feel you sitting next to me,
Feels like it was meant to be,

So drink away what's left of me,

You can have my everything-

The world roared in '94,
When I was born, the skies were torn,
Tiny horns but wore a halo,
Depict horrific sides of angels,

Thunder rumbled, lightning struck,
Hunted, humbled, blinded, stuck,

Turned my back on shining doors,
The world roared in '94-

Sing my song in the deep of the night,
Keep the beast in me calm to keep him inside,
But repeating the thoughts that are screaming behind,
Releases the product of evil and light,

Master of chaos and created in silence,
Shattering rain fall replaces my cryin',
Extremities dwelling in walls of it's balance,
Help me repel in the world of malice,

Ideas I've spawned linger in voids,
Places so dark you have to see through the noise,
Hate is burning inside like an internal volcano,
Thoughts swirl in my mind like a mental tornado-

Darkness consumes our lifeless days,
Stare at the world with our lifeless gaze,
With hopes that we can break outside this cage,
Filling the skies with our miserable cries of life's disdain,

Where's the glimmer of hope that our hearts need?
Where's the glow of the sun that make hearts beat?
Where's the light in the abyss, so recharging?
Every promise of hope is shattered with sharp teeth,

So come, come saviour,
Watch the dead dance,
Lift us from this place,
Give us our life back,
Put us on the stage,
And let us sway to the rhythm,
Watch the dead dance,
Watch the dead dance-

back as a beast that cracks in the heat,
tragedy feeds in the blackness of peace,
magnets and teeth keep me active, no sleep,
another chapter, it brings a masterful piece,

battered and shattered, broken and bruised,
disasters and laughter pried me open to truth,
world on a platter,
only for you,

came back to the call of a powerful addiction,
strain's coming outta the hole with a louder extension,
shape your mind to the mold of a cowards existence,
direct all the hate to the crows, controlling the crowds to the mountain of sickness,

shoot at the sky where your Jehovah resides,

staying alive with a sharper sixth sense,

back track on the road of a god and retrace all the missed steps,

broken inside, shed your skin again-

sometimes it feels like the world collapses around me,
like everything just caves in,
it's like everything happens to surround me,
Making my head spin,

you call it unstable,
I call it life,
everything turns into something hateful,
cuz I refuse to cry,

so ******* and your perfect reality,
cuz life ain't all what it's cracked out to be,

my world's flipped backwards and I wish I could care,
but I don't wanna be there when I ain't got no air,

words so negative through the mouth of a pessimist,
hopes so high in the head of an optimist,

thoughts so loud in the mind of writer,
emotions so vibrant in the being of a flyer,

I keep my head down cuz my feelings are heavy,
keep my hopes up cuz I'll always stay ready,

for a brighter day-

I wish I could leave the planet,
I wish I could fly,
cuz you can't see the madness,
with the naked eye,

I wouldn't hate to die,
and it kinda scares me,
walk into the fire,
without caring,

infinite emotions,
mixed into one,

embrace the cold wind,
live with the sun-

there's nothin I can do to silence you,
nothin I can say to get inside of you,
I'd say **** it and try to fly to you,
just so I could rip your life in two,

but you know I aint that stupid,
I don't know it all but im not clueless,
i'd give it all to you if I knew that I could mute it,

but you just keep picking away,
i'm actually surprised im livin today cuz last night I got this close to ****** it in the drain,

if I could i'd steal your life from you,
but all you like to do is try and light my fuse and when you do..

tick

tick

tick


here we go again,
spinnin around in circles in hate with the world what else is new?
you never shut the **** up no matter how many times I tell you to,
I wanna ****** bury you, it scares me too,
to know that I would do things I thought i'd never do,
but you egg me on,
you **** me off so ****** bad I'd grap your head and tear it off!
I don't care enough to carry on,
I swear to god i've never felt like this,
but all that I can do is tell you ****,
I need a ****** outlet quick before my heart pounds out my chest,
what was fine is now depressed and what's surpressed is now a mess and mixed with all the **** that lives within my ****** head,
here we go again!
-
scream at the moon,
bleed out for you,
"see now the truth,"
kiss my ***,
don't need no help from you..

if only you'd stay the way i'd like you to,
the time before I knew what I know now,
i'd love you the way I did before,
then i'd let you lay me down,
and put me to rest-

I don't hate the planet,
I despise the people that inhabit it,
Cuz I'm looking through their eyes and all that matters is how much cash you spend,
Or how much you make,
But it don't matter how much I hate the twisted ways of all this waste that's in this place,
Cuz either way, this life ain't how I imagined it,

I pray for disasters,
I hope that it shatters,
I'll watch your world crack while you drown in my laughter,
Cuz all this won't matter when it turns a new chapter,

You'll watch me on my mountain top watching all you cowards fall,
And I'll sound the song and pound the drums at God before I curse him for letting this go on this long,

Flip the world off while I watch the ground just drop from under yall,

Take my place as king at the side of the devil cuz he sung his song,

You can call me the son of God,

Dear world,
I hope you ****** rot-

Forever changing,
Never one thing,
always pacing,
in search of something,

but what? is the question,
this depression is endless,
regressing and trepid,
defenseless,
infected,

hidden words in your beautiful maze,
spoken with taste,
left me broken for days,
hoping for change but the glow in your face,
pokes through the gates of my opening brain,

sold to you,
pain,
is holding me,
caged,
broke through the rain to turn over the page,
hopelessly dazed from the smoldering blaze,

"know the truth...
take..."
I know it's you,
"pay"
emotional waves are controlling me, "slave,"
hold onto the reins in this motionless place-



"focus"

breathing,

"chosen"

seizing,

paralyzed sterilization,
glaring eyes stare through vibrations,
beware, you'll find the stairs to damnation,
my eye sight was taken,
I tried but escaped it,

coming closer to your touch,
every night I try,
I wish I knew what it was,
have I lost my mind?-

"So familiar and overwhelmingly warm,
This one, this form I hold now,
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so,
Wide eyed and hopeful,
Wide eyed and hopefully wild,
We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now,
Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in...
This body makes me feel eternal,
All this pain is an illusion.."

~ Maynard James Keenan

sometimes I get so down I wanna die,
sometimes I feel so good I wanna fly,
sometimes I get so ****** I wanna scream,
clench this fist and break your teeth,

sometimes I get fed up with life,
just say **** it and eat a bullet,
life is ******* troubled minds,
but I guess i'll just keep pullin..

..until I explode to you,
aggresion boils in my gut before I show it to you,
depression burns through every cut before I mold it into,
another manic feelin comin up as I try to control it for you,
but its controlin me through,

non-stop waves of long lost pain,
locked thoughts of rage I thought got chained,

but I guess I forgot that the cycle dont stop,
from a climb to the top to a dive bombing drop,
I fly to get shot but this life's all I got so i'll try to lift off and smile when im hot,

just for the sake of me seeming ok,
cuz I hate when they ask,
answer's always the same,
even though I know that I am it'll eventually change,
so despite the fact im wantin to snap im disguising my face,

if only you knew what the **** it takes to hold in my rage,
instead of blowin the place I stand and I pace and bleed on a page,

quiet then talk,
fly and then fall,
violent, calm with my smile and all,

im walkin a lonely road in the coldest weather,
but you know,
whatever-