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Portland Grace Jun 2014
You used to ask me why I never wrote about you,
or for you.
I wrote about him,
poem after poem,
about his mouth
his hands,
his solitude.

I never wrote about you,
because I didn't have to,
you were there beside me,
held my hand when I felt
underground.
I notice,
words come easier
when no one is around.

So here's your poem,
thank you,
for staying by me,
thank you
for not giving me
words to write about.

But I've already
spoken word poems
to you sleepy head
every morning
when I tell you,
I love you
I really do.
Portland Grace Nov 2014
Spit your ******* venom at me,
tell me about all the things I lied about,
tell me all the things I did wrong.

Call me every horrible name you can think of,
like I care what you think of me anymore.

As soon as I was away from you,
I finally saw how bad things were.
I'm not your ******* puppet anymore.

You're ******* toxic,
and I've been choking on you for years.

I let you morph me into what you wanted,
I compromised my values and self-worth to please you,
and don't think for a second it didn't destroy me.
It did.
I hated myself, what I had become in the hopes of trying to fix you.
Help you.
You weren't worth it.

You're ******* psychotic.

I'm so happy,
I never have to let you touch me again.
Sorry for all the ***** but for real *******.
Portland Grace Oct 2014
Where words once flowed like a river,
I dammed up my mouth
with your soft skin,
you have stolen my art from me,
slipped them right off my lips, thief.

The truth is,
I have been pouring my words into you,
for quite sometime,
you eat them like candy.
I have not been able to put down your hand
long enough to grip a pen.

A month ago you told me that you loved me,
there were tears in your eyes as I told you I was leaving you.
You told me you loved me and you loved me and by god I loved you too.

Sometimes I kiss you and I swear it's so sweet I could choke,
sometimes I spit you back up because you've spoiled in my mouth.
Portland Grace Dec 2014
We share a dream,
a hope,
of a little tiny house
with a basement
and knives not sold in a set.

Of a dog and a car
and a bed on the ground,
and being a little late on the monthly rent.

Of goodbye kisses
when you'd leave for work
and I'd be off to school.
Of watching snow
off our back patio
and sneaking into the neighbors pool.

Of borrowing each others flannels,
and kissing our noses
and drinking tea in springtime
before I prune the roses.

Of our morning coffee,
yours black, mine sweet,
and I'd still make fun of you
for the way that you eat.

For fights about vinyl
and paint and a movie,
but not about the things
that you shouldn't have done to me.

So we want that,
we both do,
and here's where it stinks
is that you ****** it up
in our fight after drinks.

And I know you regret it,
and I'm sorry to say
that sometimes apologies
don't cut it that way.

I miss you, I do
and you miss me too,
and I want our little house
and our dog and you.

But you put her name
above mine on the list,
and if you asked me a month ago
who I would want to kiss
to you I'd be true
but it wouldn't be me,
if they instead asked you.

We share a dream, a want and a need
for places colder,
for dirt and for skiis.
Of snow caps and pine trees
and people to leave.

But I don't trust you,
with my heart or my mind
and while I still really like you
I can't decide
if it's worth all this trouble
you've shook up in your wake
If your the one with the heart
or the one with the stake.
You
Portland Grace Sep 2013
You
The freckles that were splashed
so graciously across your skin,
and the pupils of your eyes
dilated in moonlight
high beams casted
carbon shadows
in between
each one of your ribs.
your hollow sadness
has also become physical .
I feel your stare through my bones,
And traveled across every mountain,
were the words you never meant to say to me,
yet they still burned me
like coals still scorched
from last nights fire.

I stole sideways glances,
and coveted phrases
that were never mine to keep.

I held your shattered pieces so long
even after you left,
that your brokenness
became a part of me.
I tried to wipe you away,
like the sleep in my eyes,
mornings alone
proceeding nights even more alone.
I found your sadness still spooning me at night,
you left me in a prison.
Portland Grace Aug 2015
I do not fear sharks,
my claws are sharper than your words,

I will rip out your jugular
and let your blood drip from my teeth
Portland Grace Oct 2014
I tried to take your pictures down,
pulled the tacks
right out of my head.

You're a sticky fellow,
and behind the pictures,
there are scars on the wall.

I want to say,
"Remember that one time... when we..."
But I don't want to remember.

I want you to go away.
So I went away.

You're still here,
but you're not here.

We haven't spoken in months,
but why does it feel like you won't leave me alone

I see you every night,
I wake up and sometimes,
I can still feel you on my mouth,
smell your skin.

You're so far away.

How does something so dim,
burn so bright?

I'll probably never know,
why people sleepwalk,
or what I ever saw in you.

How someone who can be so terrible,
can be so
magnificently wonderful
simultaneously.

You were
temporary ink,
but it feels like
a ******* tattoo.

*I'll bleach all my walls
until your stains are gone
Portland Grace Jul 2011
You know
  I love,
   Everything,
     About you.
       You know,
         That you're
           The only one
             For me.
               You know
                 I always
                   Think about you.
                     You know
                       You're the only
                         One I see.                                                                            I know
                                                                                                                    I can be
                                                                                                                 A little much,
                                                                                                               Hard to
                                                                                                            handle,
'                                                                                                         But easy to touch.
                                                                                                        I know
                                                                                                     Sometimes,
                                                                                                  I don't think
                                                                                               Things through,
                                                                                             All I know,
                                                                                           Is that,
                                                                                        I love you.
Portland Grace May 2013
Your scent has left my skin,
for good
My hips have aligned others,
better than you ever were
But that doesn't change,
how much I still need you
when the sun goes down.
You are my desert,
the place I found comfort,
even though you scorched my skin.
I still don't know,
If I will find another place,
I love
as much as I loved your cactus flowered torso,
your red rock skin,
the way you warmed me,
through my icy insecurities.
I have loved you for too many years,
through too many mistakes,
through too many dust storms,
and my heart is chained to your desert sunrise,
but the sun has already set,
for good,
maybe.

— The End —