Maryann I

Maryann I Apr 4

Haven’t I bled my colors dry,
wrung my bones into brittle dust,
laid my soul on the altar of expectation,
only to be asked for more?

The echoes of my name—
demanding, dragging, devouring—
they carve into my ribs,
turning marrow to aching void,
turning breath to borrowed air.

Do I not shimmer with scars enough?
Do my hands not tremble with the weight of giving?
Must I unspool myself further,
pulling, pulling, pulling
until nothing remains but the ghost of a thread?

Tell me, when does the hunger end?
When does the world swallow the last piece of me
and say, enough?

#drained

Maryann I Apr 3

Ever and Again

Each time you step into view,
it’s like the first time—
a lightning strike of wonder,
a slow-burning sunrise blooming behind my ribs.

Your eyes catch mine, and I swear—
the world resets.

Every glance is an untouched page,
every smile, an unheard melody,
each moment with you, a beginning again and again.

I have memorized the way your voice folds into the air,
how your hands move like poetry in motion,
yet every time—
it’s discovery, it’s breathlessness, it’s new.

Loving you is an echo with no end,
a star collapsing only to be reborn,
a loop where time folds into itself
and delivers me back to that first look,
again, again, and again…

#devotion

Maryann I Apr 2

what is love without you?

a story unwritten, a verse left untold,
a heart still beating, but always cold.

#incomplete

Maryann I Apr 1

Please

I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I’m trying
I’m really trying

believe me

I gave in again
I gave in to the voices again
I—
cut myself again

please

please forgive me
please—
I didn’t mean to—
no, I did
but not like that
not to hurt you
but now it feels like I did

please don’t leave me

not like she did

please
stay a little longer
just a while
just—
forever?
I’ll get better, I promise

I promise

I just—
I can’t be alone
not in this house
not in this war-zone of a home
where voices break more than silence
where hands break more than glass

I—
I can’t stay here
or I fear—
no, I know—
the darkness will take me

please,
my love—
forgive me

you said
you’d never leave
you said
you’d stay
but what if one day
you get tired?

what if you see
I’m not something
you can fix?

what if
I never mend?

I don’t want to be like this forever.

but I’m scared

because all I’ve ever known
is hurt
instead of love

they were supposed to be better—
the ones who took us in
but the mother had fists like storms
and the father—
I don’t want to say it
but it stays inside me like rot

and now—
no, now I sound like I want pity
like I want someone to look at me
to see me

social media says
I’m an attention seeker
for saying this
for feeling this
for needing someone to listen

even my own therapist feels like a lie

what was I even talking about?

…oh

cutting myself

I got carried away, didn’t I?
I always do.

I’m just—
I don’t know
I don’t know how to stop
I don’t know how to let go

the grudge I hold—
it’s eating me alive

I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
I—

I put more scars into my body
again
again
again

if they find out
they’ll send me away
they’ll—

please
please don’t let them

please help me

please—

Maryann,
help me.

At first, it seems
I write for love—
a plea, a whisper,
“stay, forgive me.”

But as the ink spills,
the truth unravels—
these words aren’t for them.
They are for me.

A cry I cannot speak,
a confession I cannot hold.
The more I write,
the more the lines blur—

between seeking comfort
and fearing that no one
will ever truly stay.

#confessional

Mar 31

Eve

🪶

Angel of anguish, take this from me.

your feathers brush away my sins,

but your talons carve my guilt into my chest.

sweet Angel, carry me to oblivion,

rest your head in the lake of inaction,

tasting wordless pleas.

eyes, eyes, they say they never lie.

but you have none, only an empty promise lay in your skull.

#ominous #spooky

Maryann I Mar 31

It’s Your Right.

No one owns your body.
No one has the right to take.
No one has the right to push.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when they say you’re leading them on.
Even when they say you owe them.
Even when they say you don’t mean it.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when your voice shakes.
Even when your hands tremble.
Even when you feel small.

It’s okay to say no.
Even when you’re afraid.
Even when you don’t know what will happen next.
Even when they won’t stop.

It’s your body.
It’s your choice.
It’s your right.

Do they have the right to take what’s not given?
No.

#consent