I look around to find you, in trees, in laughs, in the air.
I always questioned if I was missing out on something,
so I asked one simple question:

What would you tell someone who lost everything?

I no longer look for you because you are always around me,
I no longer look because you are the music I listen to every day and
I no longer look because I don't feel like I lost you, you never left me,  I love you.

I feel dizzy.
I’m trapped in a body that feels out of place.
An illusion of what is perfect to me is not ideal in any case.
And every time I explain myself, my body is paralyzed in fear.
What if you won’t accept me? oh dear.
What if you won’t love me the same? I can’t help it.
I love the souls that belong to my same gender.
I can’t help it. Life was in slow motion but the moment I saw her I heard my heart tic for the first time.
Oh, how slow the clock ticked when I told my mother.
And oh, how fast time went by the first time I kissed her.
A woman.
Not ideal, but perfect for me.
Not the norm, but beautiful to me.
Hypnotize me to see if you can change me.
I’ll wake up the same.
I’ll wake up but still be in a dream that I can’t handle at times.
I don’t want to be a disappointment.
I don’t want to **** this part of me that roars louder than my own voice.
I shiver at the command of obedience.
Because I’ll never listen. I’ve tried to fight it but it’s stronger than me. I have no control.
Without a woman, I feel like I can’t breathe.
And with a woman, I feel hypnotized.