I would call it poetry whenever
You write it with a positive attitude,
Otherwise I'll just call it a drunk rant,
I ask you to rather kept it private.

I would call it poetry whenever
You write it with a theme in mind,
Else I'll call it an attention monger's attempts of desperation,
Do good to the world, save electricity, invest your calories to somewhere purposeful.

I would call it poetry whenever
You try to give it a definitive form,
Or I'll only be irked by such unworthy posts filling up my screen,
Do us a favour, quit posting it to Hello Poetry and start maintaining a personal diary.
Malign it instead, spare Hello Poetry.