When I was young I learned how to dive into my emotions I learned how to wrap myself in my regret and fill myself with relics of isolation, I learned that my tears were to be compared to the bottom of the ocean for both the saltiness and the amount of them. I learned how to cheat my way into straight A's because suddenly I wasn't at the top of the class I was diving to the bottom, with the druggies and the criminals. I learned how to move my fingers along the fret board of another man's "love" and how to make him sing louder than a microphone would ever allow for I learned to dive into what most would consider immorality. I learned to inhale whatever I could, tobacco, ***, and whatever lingered in the oxygen in between and I learned to dive through the labyrinth of smoke that it would produce. I learned to steal for what I needed because I didn't have the money to eat lunch or for new clothes I learned to dive into the world that I'd scoffed at a year ago the world of the beggars and the choosers the stealers and the 'losers' called out by self-proclaimed winners. I learned to trace raindrops on a window and recite my dreams in the form of broken hearts and song lyrics I learned to dive into myself.