when you kissed me on the forehead, before leaving after I lost my virginity to you

when you told me you wouldn’t let me have him over when you knew it would only destroy me further, that you’d tell my dad i was having a party when i was home alone

when you told me you’d always stay up to talk to me, that i wasn’t bothering you at all

when you texted to make sure i was okay after we got pulled over at 2 am and our dads had to come get us

when you said i was too unique to ever let go, and you stayed on the phone with me while i cried about my parents

when you told me i knew about the world more than anyone else you knew

when you wrapped your arms around me and stayed like that for the whole fire drill because i didn’t have a coat

when you told me to stop, because you couldn’t bear to fall in love again

when you were the only one who would ask if i was okay when i’d just started on my new medicine that summer

when you told me to just go outside and look at how beautiful the moon was, the night you got lost

when you said he’d gone on a date with a girl from his work in california, and that it wasn’t always about him

when you told him not to tell me about those girls who said he deserved better than me