How did a girl keep me alive? Why am I dying without you? Why can’t I breath anymore? I loved you more than I loved myself and now I’m lost in a grave six feet under. Your eyes kept me out of water and now I’m drowning in a sea of my own darkness.
I’m terrified to love because of you. I’m terrified to call another girl mine.
What if they don’t taste like you did? What if their smell doesn't intoxicate me? What if they’re just like you and decide I’m not good enough to love?
I loved you with all I had and now I don’t have anything to give someone else. I want to love again. I want to forget about the almost year we spent together. I want someone to call me theirs again. I want to have a happily ever after. I just never thought you would be the one keeping me from it.
I never thought I would be without your arms, without your good morning texts. What if they don’t text me in the morning? What if their arms don’t make me feel safe like yours did? Why does that have to be past tense? Why are you past tense? Why am I still writing about you seven months later?
Why can’t I let go and love someone else?
Why am I so scared?
Why do you make me scared?