we went to the park and next thing I knew your hands were down my pants and I was struggling not to convulse
and your body is holding mine against the couch like rocks on my chest
and I can't resist your skin against mine but I want to rip your hands away from parts of me almost as private as my journal
and you've seen everything and I've stayed behind the curtains while you got on or more like got off and I slept every night alone
and my whole body shivers and begs when you barely brush against me but I can't handle you inside me at all
and I don't want you to feel upset or bored or mad for my inability to get my legs caught on someone else's
and I feel like there's a catastrophe going on in my mind, and you are both the cause and the silencer.