As a child I had no time
At least, not for trivial things
Such as toys and games
I was busy learning

Spells and runes
Incantations
Illusions and charms
I thought I could trick myself
Into thinking I was happy

As a teenager I had no time
Not for school nor for love
My instructor declared these were trivial
And like the words of a spell change an object
He changed my perceptions

All that was important was my training
My future

Many are pushed into careers
Pressured by a parent

But I am truly a cog in the machine
I wish I was pressured
That would mean I was given a chance to say no
But magic binds
Your master leaves you no choice

As an adult I met you
And the high you gave me beat any spell
It beat any thing I had ever learned
But I didn’t love you

I still don’t love you

I love the idea of you
I love the way you’re there
How you try to help me resist
How you gently correct all my misbehaviors
But I could never love you

All I know now are enchantments
And my heart grows cold as stone
If I could change myself
I would

If there was a spell to fix myself
To force myself to love you
I would use it

Because theres a sadness in your eyes
You know that I’m unable to love
And this breaks me

I’m sorry to you
And I’m sorry to my master
For failing him
But mostly, I’m sorry for myself
Because failing him
Means my undoing

So now as an elder
I’ve remained with you only
To pass my magic along to someone
Our son

I pray your influence
Makes him a better man than I