I told myself I wouldn't write for an entire month, but as my anxiety attack of a mindset blended with my desire to fly I realized I was driving with the windows down when the rain outside was pouring down my arm, making a puddle at the thigh of my pants. I had never once felt bliss like this. The night sky kissed my open wounds like mother nature was trying to let me know everything will be okay. I was told that I was nothing, spat to the ground as the words left your lips and you took a drag from that cigarette you've been trying to quit for months now. So I realize you are weak, clinging to the addictions you cannot escape from and I'm not talking about the cigarette stained teeth or the coffee smeared t shirt.. You are self-destructive. just as quick as 3-2-1 you explode your insecurities onto others and I will no longer let that be me.
I fell in love once and didn't know it. The eyes I saw the world from were blinded by your keen distaste for life and your knack for self-righteous cynicism I grew up thinking love was just a myth and no one, not even me was worthy of it Then someone made me realize that the life I lived was the one that made me who I was- which was someone worthy of love.
So as I drove with the windows down and rain pouring on my cheeks, I realized this is manic if I had an explanation for it. Then I smiled and realized this is the closest I've ever felt to flying and ******* I don't ever wanna come down. So let me lift myself up until I can no longer remember what it feels like to be grounded, where all the logic is nonexistent where I can learn to love myself again.Β Β That's where I was, that's where I'll always be the day I picked back up my pen.
I told myself I wouldn't write the entire month of october but that didn't last too long. whoops, not sorry.