Don’t panic anyone, the government has everything under control. In the meantime watch out for people with blood shooting out of their eyes, coughing, sniffling children and dogs with fevers.

Additionally do not approach any individual who is vomiting buckets of blood or any child who is crying and did not just fall down.

If you see men in spacesuits do NOT fire upon them, they are not aliens, they are from the government and they are there to help you.

If you see razor wire around your neighborhood do not attempt to climb it. Not only will it cut you badly, increasing your chance of infection, but it was put there by the government for your own protection.

Remember to stay calm and everything will be all right. Just do not lick anyone who appears ill, breathe in or out, touch the bottom of your shoes or drive with your windows rolled down.

This has been a public service announcement.