There are times I drown in thoughts

Depression taps my shoulders

The blade tempts me

Before, I questioned why people cut their own skin

I wonder how they could have done that

Then as time passes by, I now realize how it feels like

Never being enough

Feeling worthless while the weight of the world drags you down

Every day questioning your existence until the break of dawn

Tired crying eyes that never run out of water

Thinking of it is easy but doing it is another thing

Maybe I'm not that selfish
Maybe I'm not that desperate
Maybe because I still have hope
And maybe because I fear what may happen— that it would be something worse than the pain right now

*I guess I'm not that brave