Sometimes I wonder if I should have fought harder. To talk to you, to get to you. Then I think of myself, how I needed someone. It turns to selfishness. I have love, I never ever will stop wondering how much I can give. I gave it away, not to empty hands but to you. I get angry at myself. How I shouldve helped , what I couldve done. I would cry, your name through the hard nights. I did need you, i just wished you could have come to me. I notice its getting easier, I wonder what you're doing, how you are. I can't play the blame game anymore. I will always love you. I can't help it, I know and hope you'll grow a way from me within time. Its not love in the same way, physical stills there. Ive grown so much stronger though... I can feel the strength appear, my confidence in a complete crowd. I aim to feel different, hopeful. I breathe in, I breathe out. I can feel the change... And ****.

*it feels good