My successor lives a life of taught 
asceticism,
corrupted by nothing,
but a heart and a mind, his own drum
and band
 and beat. Worries escape
his unlocked hell. Possessing the same
antique key, molded
in our old hurried erstwhile
intimate flame.
She once left me to burn. 


Oh how I long for this emancipation,

unaffected freedom and thought,
turned to open a heart’s beating lock. 

But still I feel a pull towards her
and an arrow shot from her being,

stabbed and wounded, 

the speed unbearable.
Dark red ****,
a flooding river,
flowing from the hole,
drowned out our pyre,
poured down a love’s last lung.  

Her existence, vitality, 

and sharpened breathing clock
opened wide my ocean. 


Why does your effect,

still burn, infect,
still 
keep my innards
 wanting, longing, 

for further cooling plaster
and my retired
matron master.
Oh sew and needle me.

Jealousy and need 
and human lust
and self 
absorption never stung so deep.
I miss this arrow’s fire,
and blazing tip,
cutting at heart’s fibers,
probing at psyche’s delicate despair,
replaced now, by another,
a latest fair haired heir
to my sweet woeful blunder.

Yet you’re my only bygone brunette.
And the marks left from a glowing brand
remain scorched,
internal.
Still I cherish
a pain-past impression
and your heirloom flames
used as sacred protection.