I wonder if you would’ve had your fathers nose, 

And my eye lashes.
I wonder if being a little happier could’ve kept you around a little longer.

I wonder if you would’ve made sense of things,
like babies are supposed to do

And of course I wonder all of the little things that mothers are supposed to wonder,
like how it would’ve felt to feel your precious kicks,
to hear your heartbeat for the first time and know it was real.
I wonder if you would’ve been a rambunctious little boy
or a boisterous baby girl.
And I wonder if he could’ve bared to hurt you, too.

In some ways
I’m glad you didn’t stick around long enough to find out

In other ways,
I wish I had someone to love more than myself
again