i am so sorry
so so sorry
and i will never forgive myself for not being able to give you my everything
because all of me
every ounce of my being
is not even enough to repay every drop of your soul
that you have offered me
i cry and i cry and i just cant
i am so sorry
that my love is incapable
my heart not made big enough
to hold the half the weight you hold for me
i am a wretch
i am so flawed
i am so unworthy
of everything you have showered on me
and i want the best for you
i want you to find someone worthy
i want you to love and be loved as deeply and profoundly
but until then
i guess ill keep digging my hole in hell deeper
and be selfish just a while longer
until i decide i am too disgusting to accept anymore from you
because i am sorry
and no amount of me saying that will ever make up for the time you have
wasted on me
i only pray that i will cherish you the way you deserve
i only pray that i can love you half of what you deserve
at least
i only pray that one day you will hate me
because that is what i deserve
and not you