I don't get too many phone calls,
But I didn't think much of it
When the vaguely familiar bars
Of an old popular soundtrack
Began gently drawing my attention
To my hardly-used-except-to-Google-things-
Or-play-hours-upon-hours-of-­word-games-
Unless-I'm-on-a-Netflix-binge
Smartphone,
(Which I obviously don't use as a phone,)
Because someone was calling me.
I was flabbergasted in the next heartbeat
And didn't know what to think
Say
Do
Feel
So I just stared at the screen with your name.
Stared at the flashing lights
Until it all went dark.

It took me exactly 21 years
To begin to accept my given name.
It was unique and as a kid I was...not.
I wanted to fit in, to belong, to get along
With all the other kids,
But for years, the name you gave me
Haunted every time someone called out to me.
Things changed the year I was 21.
The weight and gravity of names
Became clear and more understandable to me,
For a name is not merely an appellation
By which others in society
Are able to gain your attention,
No, names are powerful things.
They direct the thoughts and consideration
Of those we interact with
Because our name is often
Their first impression of us.
And I began to consider my name,
It's meaning,
It's origin,
The reason you named me it.
And as the knowledge grew
So did my appreciation
Until I embraced it with eagerness.

But just as I began to realize
That my name influenced how others saw me,
I began to see that what I call others
Influences me.

Your name has gone through a few transformations
In these past few years,
Much like you yourself.

On the flashing screen of my mobile
Where it first read:

mama

mom

mother

Your Given Name

Now it reads

**Do Not Answer. Ever.