I don't want to be married

I don't want to be settled

I want to be me ..
holding hands ...
with ..someone..
who is not me

So very not me

But so very themselves

Someone who is their own someone
Who has chosen to walk beside...
me
who is me
So very me

Someone who continually chooses to walk beside me, because of and despite me

I don't want to get married

I want to get better

Get better at being me

beside you

Get better at loving you
and me

At teaching you how to love me and you
At learning me and you

I want to go to bed mad and wake up sad I wasted that time
when I see your cute night drenched face soaking up a pillow

Im going to regret things I say to you

And things you say to me

But I won't forget you and the place we carve for one another
In our heart trees

You won't be first

but you will be the last one..
I kiss before bed
and the last heart I strive to know the curves and edges of

So when I marry you

It's not a word

It's not some potion that changes the earth and it's motion

When I marry you

I choose to choose you