There comes a moment
When you're too restless
For your skin,
For the day,
For the things you have,
And lack.
Too restless to handle the people around you.
When you feel ****** up
But don't really know why
When you're anxious
Regarding one person's feelings
About you
When your insecurities start to drown you
Little by little
Until your breath is gone,
Caught by ocean.
And you find yourself
Unwilling to go in
To a house
Where people lurk,
Waiting to see a smiling face
That you aren't sure you can muster.
And you can't go in
Because tears catch in your eyes
And you gag
When you think of certain things
And your throat is raw from
Holding back
A cry too long.
So you sit
And let yourself cry-
Just a little
In the driveway. In the cold.
Alone.
Which is how you want it
But also how you hate it.