Off* doesn't even begin to describe my sleeping patterns. As someone who has watched the sun rise before even having a wink of sleep on too many nights to even count, I have lost the privilege of just calling my sleeping schedule off. It seems every hour I spend awake, my body becomes more hyper aware of the fact that I cannot forget you. No matter how hard I try, you're still always lingering in some corner of my mind. But it's even worse when I sleep. Dreams bring the most bittersweet memories and fantasies to the forefront of my consciousness. Lingering kisses, proclamations of love, sweet nothings, all ripped away from me when reality sets back in. And which is worse? I can't decide. I've tried to avoid them both for so long and all it's gotten me is a particularly more than off sleeping pattern.