Do you remember when I laid in bed with you and cried
because telling you about me hurt to do?
            But I wanted to tell you - because you deserved to know, because maybe I thought you would share yourself too, because maybe I thought packing you into my old wounds
            would finally heal them right.
And all that truth made me shake and the dark bedroom made me wild-eyed but
               your heart beating through my palm pushed me forward a step,
        a step of a step, and pretty soon I was falling for you.

        And I remember when you stood over me, revealing your truth about me.
And all that truth made me cry and the morning light hurt my eyes
        and you split my ribs and my lungs poured out at my knees
which were bruising from begging.
        But I couldn’t find you in your darkened eyes or your bellowing voice
as it gutted me and braided my veins in a knot…
          Some things I try to forget.

I dream of you and I imagine your face, your touch, the way you walk and
          hold my hand and we smile and you laugh and
I have you.
But sometimes the black comes down from the nightsky
          and seeps into my sleep
to darken your eyes and harden your grasp,
           just like that you flay me open to spill my tears and
I’m losing you.


          When I wake you are there, reaching toward me in the dark.

The bruises on my knees will fade.