Jul 2014
7/10/14 // 1:50 am
I looked at his pictures and I didn't really feel as mad as I used to be looking at the first boy I ever loved be happy, I didn't really get jealous of her, I got jealous because he had the person that makes him happy next to him and I don't. That was my sad realization. I didn't get angry seeing him be happy, I got angry knowing I'm not. I've always felt that he was better than me, in every aspect of life. Ability to have long relationships, School, Morals, Life. And then I thought about you, and how you made me feel better about all that, you didn't make me feel like I was at war, you made me feel at peace for the first time in my 5 years of sacrificing my love and devotion to a boy who only runs to me when he has the time. You're not him, you'll never be him. But I'm so glad you're you and I'm so so so glad I have met and had the pleasure of caring so deeply about someone as magnificent as you. Even if you left me in the dark like everyone else. You made me feel like I mattered. I know more than anyone it's possible to love someone in only two weeks and sure when you said it, it freaked me out but now that you're gone, that's all I want to tell you. I think I'm falling in love with you too. But I know it's too late.
*vm
I looked at his pictures and I didn't really feel as mad as I used to be looking at the first boy I ever loved be happy, I didn't really get jealous of her, I got jealous because he had the person that makes him happy next to him and I don't. That was my sad realization. I didn't get angry seeing him be happy, I got angry knowing I'm not. I've always felt that he was better than me, in every aspect of life. Ability to have long relationships, School, Morals, Life. And then I thought about you, and how you made me feel better about all that, you didn't make me feel like I was at war, you made me feel at peace for the first time in my 5 years of sacrificing my love and devotion to a boy who only runs to me when he has the time. You're not him, you'll never be him. But I'm so glad you're you and I'm so so so glad I have met and had the pleasure of caring so deeply about someone as magnificent as you. Even if you left me in the dark like everyone else. You made me feel like I mattered. I know more than anyone it's possible to love someone in only two weeks and sure when you said it, it freaked me out but now that you're gone, that's all I want to tell you. I think I'm falling in love with you too. But I know it's too late.
*vm
