"God why, why god? Why me? Why is life so miserable? I want to give up. Show me. Help me."

These words. The ones weighed so heavily on a hospital bed. They dragged the air down to my shoes leaving all lungs without oxygen.

The walls felt deep.

Never ending abyss of confirmed failures. Continuance of a ringing that still bleeds in my ears today. The slow beating of a flatlined life.  

This was simply the bad news on repeat. Stuttered and obliterated my brain waves that couldn't find up from down.

I've never seen a heart spread so neatly on the floor.

The pieces too small to pick up one by one. Instead we stare and observe a life not wasted across the linoleum. Watching the pieces flutter and shake in their space

So we swept the pieces into the corner. No need to keep this reality playing like elevator music. Stand by if you know what's best for ya.

These walls are for the broken hearted, the wretched, and fallen, you'll fit in just fine.

Lets push this bed out the window, it will be the first time we've been free in years. Like a bird? **** that, today we are our own.

Find wing tips fluttering fallout baby balling on a window sill. Haven't felt this way before. Outpatient freedom that will last as long as that nice pair of socks that somehow, your dryer ate and turned into lint.

I'm gonna need some therapy with that noxious cup of coffee. I can't simply continue the same beaten path.