We are a sickness sometimes. It has never been so easy. I spent hours staring at a tiny screen. I couldn’t stop spilling. These hands still trembling. Six months since I saw you. There is relief in this. In this moment; this memory. Tuesday never came, not really. Tonight we breathed heavily and I listened to you laugh. It lifted something off of me. I am so afraid that time will tell me nothing but ’I told you so’ That winter will come, and we will melt away. I can only remember harvest gold. It won’t come back to me.
"I am drowning in negativism, self-hate, doubt, madness."