i really thought that maybe this time
things would be different
but they weren't
and it hurts so badly
that i cant just have you
and you cant just be happy with me
and not want me to change
but i guess that isn't fair
because maybe
that's what i'm wanting from you
and all that has mattered to me
for the longest time
is holding you
but you're sick and dying
and you don’t love me
(at least not like you did)
so i'll never be able to do that
since you love someone else
but it's okay
i guess
because someone else loves me
even if she hasn't loved me
for as long as you did
and she's messed up before
but so have i
and so have you
even though you don't think you have

you told me you didn't want things to mess up this time
but when i'm broke
and can't pay my phone bill
for two weeks
you leave me for someone else
and that is just the ******* thing
you could do
not to mention that you tell me
i get off topic too much
and you know that my mind
has always
been a jumbled
clusterfuck of nothingness
and that it will never change
and maybe i don't ******* want it to
so that's that
you won't change and neither will i and if you wanted to come back
you would just leave again
and i cannot take these ocean currents anymore
i get seasick too easily
so i'll try to just be your friend
even though it will hurt
because i do love the girl who loves me and i know that she wont leave

you and i have always been destined to end somehow
and not all stories have the ending you wanted

besides
you don't like small animals
so maybe that's the root of our problems