I can remember
women with dark skin and ebony hair
entangling limbs with mine
turning to one,
give me a loving smile
making me feel fine

then

I fall off a balcony with a young boy
we fall together
hand-in-hand,
hitting the ground
the boy disappearing into the land

so

I lie in pain unable to move
yelling out "Why is no one helping me?"
my face against the snow
clowns dragging me home
walking to-and-fro

yet

I walk back up the stairs
in a dark indigo house,
with a nail through the foot
creating tears
dropping for a mile like soot

all the while

A 46 year old fool
playing with kids
has an unkempt beard and crown
laughing in my face and
is loved by all the town.
Its a circus, a terribly frightening circus.