The first day we spoke
I wanted to call you mine.
When you said goodnight
I couldn't help but wonder;
What had I been doing all my life?
If somewhere in the future
There would be an us?

When you wanted to make
me a part of you
I thought I would lose you
Because you had to fight for it,
Because I was already a part of something,
Because I refused to choose
the unknown over what I already had.
Regardless that was you that I wanted
And it tore me inside-
Our happiness would be somebody's pain.

You came and changed everything;
Good and bad.
Soon though we became murders
constantly assassinating our emotions.
Your jealousy of who came before you
drove us apart
But you made sacrifices
Which left me powerless and entranced-
You had me. No matter what.
Despite the pain and the tears:
You had me. And always would.

Loving you is hard,
Fighting is a constant
and soon the inevitable became clear:
We would be over.
I got tired of fighting for you
and the draining routine of convincing you of the love I have for you.
So I did the un-imaginable...

I stopped believing in what we had.
I gave up loving you.
I hated the feeling of insecurity we fed each other -like we were never enough and had to seek other ventures.

The lies you told cut deep because you were secretly saying I am not worth the truth
And in the end you told me
"You're worthless"

What we had was real to me
And though I hate what we went through
I still love you
And sadly:
I am still in love with you.